I pray a lot. I mean, I'm a Christian - someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ; of course, I'm going to talk to Him. I pray when I get up, usually when I eat, throughout the day, in the shower, in the car, when I'm going to bed, and in bed. I set aside a special time each day to study His word, and to pray (I... set the time aside, although I'm not the
best at keeping it...), but I do pray often. 1 Thessalonians says we need to pray without ceasing, and for the most part I think I do that. At least, I do more than some Christians...
But I had a brief conversation (actually, it was more like a few passing comments) between a good friend of mine, named Whitney that really made me think about how I pray.
First off, a little bit of background. These past few months have been pretty rough for me. I've been really down, I've had a lot on my mind, I've been really kind of sad these days. It's gotten pretty bad at times, too. There were some people I knew I needed to apologize to, to be open with, to be honest with, and just needed to speak to, but I've been finding it hard to be open with... anyone.
If you have a personality like me, you know how hard it can be to be open with anyone - even the people you're closest to; the people you love. It's taken me two weeks before to work up the courage to say things to some of my best friends before - I'm not shy, I just have a hard time giving any bit of my heart to anyone it would seem.
Well, I said something about this the other day - about it being hard to be open with people. Whitney said something that, at the time, I thought was nice, but it wasn't until days later I remember what she said, and my perspective was changed drastically.
She said (paraphrased, not quoted), that she knew how I felt - she has problems with that, too. Then, Whitney said something that seemed like the obvious thing to do, but I realized I had never done it. She said that, really, the only one she felt she could really open up to was God (and once in a while, their little pup that I have a love/bark-madly-at relationship with, but that's not important.)
And it wasn't until a few days later that I really sat down and thought about that. 'Even though I pray often... have I really ever opened up to God?' The more I thought about it, the more I realized... no, I have not.
I realized that most of the time, my prayers could fall under four catergories: Please, Thank You, You Are, I Am.
Please being requests to God, like 'Please keep me safe today,' or 'Please let so-n-so feel better,' or 'Please let me be on time for class today.
Thank You being thanks for what God has done. 'Thank you for today,' 'Thank you for this food,' 'Thank you for providing and protecting...'
You Are meaning praise to God, like 'You are so good God - you are holy, you are the King, you are my lord, and I love you.'
I Am being confession, like 'I am a liar, lord - please forgive me.' 'I am so sorry for rebelling and not being obedient here and here, etc.'
The thing with all these, though, is they are crucial to a prayer life. All four of those things are great things that we are supposed to pray about. But then I started thinking about what Whitney said - about opening up to God.
I'm reminded that God calls us his children, and we call Him 'Father.' I imagine that when I become a father someday, I hope that my dearly beloved children will want a relationship with me because I want one with them. I hope they talk to me often, because I love them... but I hope they talk to me like their father, and not just with please/thank you/ you are/ I am. It's a relationship, but... not much of one, is it?
So last night, I decided that I was going to try praying at least once without using the PTYYAIM format. At first, it was very awkward. I felt whiny and childish, just talking to God - treating him like a father, I guess, was new to me. I felt that some things I'd tell him about were so pointless and petty. Then, I was stricken with a thought.
It was almost like God said to me 'I love and died for your heart, Matt. If it matters to your heart, it matters to me.'
At that moment, I was just kind of surprised and in awe. I really opened up to God. Told him everything. I even cried a bit. I laughed a bit. It was like no prayer I'd ever said before, ever. And I was just being open with the God who knew it all anyway. Wow.
So, my point of this blog is this - try being open with God. Talk to him like a Father - a Father who loves you enough to listen, to guide, to say 'I love you, son,' or 'I love you, daughter.' A Father who is always there, even when you can't sleep in the wee hours of the morning, or when you feel alone and deserted by everyone else. "Oh, how I would treat you like my own children.." the Bible says in Jeremiah. We can trust Him. We can talk to him - really talk to him. He loves us enough to listen.
It seems so obvious too, doesn't it? Most revelations or 'wake up moments' we get as Christians usually are. It just took some wise words of a close friend to get the idea into my head. :)
So try being open with God today. He's listening. :)
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7)
