Wow, isn't that such an odd thing to hear nowadays? How many people on television, in movies, on the internet can say such a bold thing? 'Marriage is worth it.' Worth what, though?
As I'm making my way through 'Love & War,' which was given to me free by the awesome people at Ransomed Heart Ministries, I'm really trying to keep an open mind on relationships, dating, and eventually, marriage. I'm not ready for anything like that yet, and that was made even more obvious by the introduction to this book - even before you got the the first chapter, it was made incredibly clear that it's a fight. It's a battle, and the one thing I think I understood most from reading the introduction was that I have to get my crap together before I want to pursue anything like a relationship with a girl.
John says to a man he's performing a wedding ceremony for as he's at the altar,
"You are about to give your life away. You are stepping up, you are volunteering for the toughest assignment a man will ever be given: to offer your heart and your strength to [woman], time and time and time again, for the rest of your days."
Wow. After reading that, it makes me believe that eloping - getting married in the spur of the moment - is an extremely foolish thing. I don't think I've ever thought of myself in the context of a marriage - a family. Do I have the heart and strength needed to support a woman I love? She'll need that from me. Can I give it to her?
"My words to you today are: it can be done. And it is worth it. To discover that because of your strength (for the guys and men reading) and your sacrifice, [woman] can become the woman she was meant to be - that, somehow, your fierce love can free her heart and release her beauty - that is whatever this may cost to you."
Free her heart. Release her beauty. Eldredge wasn't lying when he said that we live in a 'mythic' world. Those are some significant, epic words right there. That I am to provide my strength and fierce love to free and release her. Like the knights of the stores I used to read as a kid (heck - I still enjoy them). A beautiful, fair princess trapped in a tower, all alone, waiting for someone to come along and rescue her. Do I have the strength and the fierce love to release her - set her free?
No, not yet I don't.
That's why I'm feeling so blessed to have received this book. It's showing me, NOW, before I'm really even thinking about it, I need to be preparing myself for marriage, in respect to I need to 'clean up my junk,' as Perry Noble puts it. I cannot possibly fully offer my strength and love to a woman when I fill my life with junk, and let pointless (or worse... sinful) things clutter my heart.
Today, Jerry Davison, the Creative Arts Pastor at my church, was praying over the marriages in our church and our community (as part of a special day of prayer - you can read about it here), and he said one thing that jumped out at me... but only now, after reading this introduction to 'Love & War.' He prayed for those of us who weren't married yet, and not even necessarily looking yet. Isn't that something? Praying for the future marriages of people - of myself. That's something certainly I've never really done before, except maybe once or twice.
Praying for the woman, someday, I'll fall in love with, and offer my strength to. I may not even know her yet, but my prayer is that she is praying for ME (even if she doesn't know me yet), and that she is praying for the relationship she could/will have someday. That's a very exciting, very scary, very thrilling, very nerve-rattling thought.
Can I do it, though? Am I strong enough? I know I'm not ready now, but will I ever be? Really? Me, the one who can fail at the slightest temptation? The one who was never really taught how to be a Christan, or the one who has never really even had a girlfriend, outside of little elementary school crushes? Can I do this?
I don't know how many single guys read my blog, but this is one thing that John concludes the introduction chapter with:
"By the grace of God, you can do this. You have what it takes."
By the grace of God, I can do this. Maybe not now, but after preparation, I will be ready. Right now, I need to ready my heart for the... adventure that is marriage. I need to allow God to heal my heart, clean my heart, and prepare my heart. I have what it takes.
Wow, huh? I'm not even in Chapter One yet!! This is going to be an amazing study. Keep coming back for more blogging, thoughts, and fun from your's truly, Matt Walker.
A wife of noble character, who can find? She is more valuable than rubies... (Proverbs 31:10)
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