Reinventing Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentine's Day. A holiday of crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, dates, flowers, chocolates, cheesy romantic comedies, and general goosh-ery of every variety. We see the store displays with the chubby Cupid with his bow and arrows with the heart tips. We see those nasty little heart-shaped candies with little phrases like 'BE MINE' or "I LUV U' on them. We embrace telling out sweethearts 'I love you, babe' or 'You are beautiful!' or if, you're a fundimentalist Christian, 'I enjoy your presence and would like to pursue you with a friendship outing.' Gag. Not to mention the singles that decide to pout and sit around wishing they had a boyfriend or a girlfriend or were married, etc.

What, really, is the point of all this? One day of the year to focus on... romance? Love? What is Valentine's Day really about? I'm about to give you the Linus answer; you know, where Linus on 'Charlie Brown' stands up on stage and tells the Christmas story? Well, imagine I'm Linus, and it's Valentine's Day.

The Legend of St. Valentine is just that - a legend. There's little historical record about him, and in fact, there were several St Valentines recognized by the early church. I think, though, the idea of his story is what we should look at; the man, yes, but more so his message. If St. Valentine exists only as a parable, so be it - the story is still one of the deepest love. Love you won't find in a Hallmark card or on a balloon or in a sappy romance song.

In a time when Christians were being persecuted for their love for Jesus Christ and the life they led because of that, St. Valentine was a brave man. When they could dip you in burning oil, feed you to lions, or just corner and slay you in the street because of your devotion to Christ, St. Valentine saw that as a problem. Legend has it that Valentine helped many Christians escape the harsh torture and even murdering of his Christian brothers and sister, which perfectly exemplifies John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

For this, the Roman government had Valentine killed. He died for the sake of the Gospel - showing such TRUE love, and not the sappy romantic crap that ends up on cakes, cards, and Facebook that has been associated with his name these days. What a shame, eh?

Love is a theme that is probably the most profound theme in the Bible. Besides salvation itself, which is basically God proving his love for us, love is an obvious main bullet point in scripture and Jesus' teachings. Love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Love is patient, kind, doesn't envy or boast, is forgiving rejoices in truth, it protects, trusts, hopes, preserves (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It is the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:36-40). It is God Himself! (1 John 4:18). Doesn't that sound like something you'd devote a holiday to?

What if this year, we forgot all the generally mooshy and sappy traditions and connotations associated with this holiday, and look at it from a Christian perspective? What if we focused on TRUE love, and not the love of some star-crossed teenagers, a dozen roses, or posting the lyrics of out favorite love songs on the internet? What if we treated Valentine's Day like Christmas or Easter? We complain that those holidays are losing their 'true meaning,' but we still celebrate Jesus at least a little bit on those days; why not Valentine's Day?

Think about it: a day devoted to love! Christian love! A type of love that when you see it in others, you don't get depressed; you are filled with joy! A love that when shared can literally change the world! A love that saved you, and a love that is perfectly exemplified in our God.

The Beatles sang 'All you need is Love.' Switchfoot calls the love of God 'A symphony, a melody, a song...' They also say 'Love is the Movement; Love is the revolution.' Jars of Clay says 'Love is the protest!' Muse says 'Love is the Resistance!' Steve Fee says the love of God 'is better than life.' Now, doesn't that sound a lot better than 'BE MINE' or crappy dollar store candy?

I dare you to look at Valentine's Day differently today! Look at it still as a day of love, but as a day of TRUE love. The Christian Love. The kind of Love God has for us. I promise, your holiday, as well as your life, will be much better when we take that into practice.

So Happy Valentines Day! Love this day!!

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Also, thought this would be cool. I made a playlist called 'Love Is...' and it has a bunch of great songs, all having some variation of the phrase 'Love is.' Enjoy!

Love & War - Part Two - It Is Worth It

Marriage is worth it.

Wow, isn't that such an odd thing to hear nowadays? How many people on television, in movies, on the internet can say such a bold thing? 'Marriage is worth it.' Worth what, though?

As I'm making my way through 'Love & War,' which was given to me free by the awesome people at Ransomed Heart Ministries, I'm really trying to keep an open mind on relationships, dating, and eventually, marriage. I'm not ready for anything like that yet, and that was made even more obvious by the introduction to this book - even before you got the the first chapter, it was made incredibly clear that it's a fight. It's a battle, and the one thing I think I understood most from reading the introduction was that I have to get my crap together before I want to pursue anything like a relationship with a girl.

John says to a man he's performing a wedding ceremony for as he's at the altar,

"You are about to give your life away. You are stepping up, you are volunteering for the toughest assignment a man will ever be given: to offer your heart and your strength to [woman], time and time and time again, for the rest of your days."

Wow. After reading that, it makes me believe that eloping - getting married in the spur of the moment - is an extremely foolish thing. I don't think I've ever thought of myself in the context of a marriage - a family. Do I have the heart and strength needed to support a woman I love? She'll need that from me. Can I give it to her?

"My words to you today are: it can be done. And it is worth it. To discover that because of your strength (for the guys and men reading) and your sacrifice, [woman] can become the woman she was meant to be - that, somehow, your fierce love can free her heart and release her beauty - that is whatever this may cost to you."

Free her heart. Release her beauty. Eldredge wasn't lying when he said that we live in a 'mythic' world. Those are some significant, epic words right there. That I am to provide my strength and fierce love to free and release her. Like the knights of the stores I used to read as a kid (heck - I still enjoy them). A beautiful, fair princess trapped in a tower, all alone, waiting for someone to come along and rescue her. Do I have the strength and the fierce love to release her - set her free?

No, not yet I don't.

That's why I'm feeling so blessed to have received this book. It's showing me, NOW, before I'm really even thinking about it, I need to be preparing myself for marriage, in respect to I need to 'clean up my junk,' as Perry Noble puts it. I cannot possibly fully offer my strength and love to a woman when I fill my life with junk, and let pointless (or worse... sinful) things clutter my heart.

Today, Jerry Davison, the Creative Arts Pastor at my church, was praying over the marriages in our church and our community (as part of a special day of prayer - you can read about it here), and he said one thing that jumped out at me... but only now, after reading this introduction to 'Love & War.' He prayed for those of us who weren't married yet, and not even necessarily looking yet. Isn't that something? Praying for the future marriages of people - of myself. That's something certainly I've never really done before, except maybe once or twice.

Praying for the woman, someday, I'll fall in love with, and offer my strength to. I may not even know her yet, but my prayer is that she is praying for ME (even if she doesn't know me yet), and that she is praying for the relationship she could/will have someday. That's a very exciting, very scary, very thrilling, very nerve-rattling thought.

Can I do it, though? Am I strong enough? I know I'm not ready now, but will I ever be? Really? Me, the one who can fail at the slightest temptation? The one who was never really taught how to be a Christan, or the one who has never really even had a girlfriend, outside of little elementary school crushes? Can I do this?

I don't know how many single guys read my blog, but this is one thing that John concludes the introduction chapter with:

"By the grace of God, you can do this. You have what it takes."

By the grace of God, I can do this. Maybe not now, but after preparation, I will be ready. Right now, I need to ready my heart for the... adventure that is marriage. I need to allow God to heal my heart, clean my heart, and prepare my heart. I have what it takes.

Wow, huh? I'm not even in Chapter One yet!! This is going to be an amazing study. Keep coming back for more blogging, thoughts, and fun from your's truly, Matt Walker.

A wife of noble character, who can find? She is more valuable than rubies... (Proverbs 31:10)

Love & War - Part One - Single Dude

Ransomed Heart Ministries was kind enough (and awesome enough) to give me the opportunity to review and send me a copy of John and Stasi Eldredge's newest book, 'Love & War: Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed of.'

I know what you're already thinking. "Matt. You're not married."

I know, you're right - I'm not married. I'm not engaged, and I don't have a girlfriend. Why on earth would I be interested in reading this book?

The opening pages make it very clear - nothing is what it seems.

As I begin reading through this book, I'll be blogging. I plan on writing at least a few of my thoughts for every chapter. I think that this book will offer a fresh, great perspective on marriage, and my future role in it. John Eldredge has been used by God in incredible ways in the past - including using his work in my own life - and there is no doubt this book (about marriage) is sitting on my desk for a reason.

I think that, at least to my readers and those who stumble across this blog, it will be interesting to see what I learn as a 'single dude' making my way through this book. Marriage and starting a family (as my Pastor Steve Whipple says, 'You don't start a family when you have kids, you start a marriage when you say 'I do.') is something I am, actually, looking forward to in the future. No way am I ready, nor have I found anyone to take with me on that journey, but it's exciting to think about. That's exactly what it is, though, isn't it? A journey together (at the risk of sounding cheesy and wedding-priest-y.).

So, right now, my mind is clear, and I don't have any expectations for 'Love & War,' except for one: it's got a message I should hear.

Keep coming back for more on 'Love & War' from the perspective of Matt Walker - me, you're friendly neighborhood single dude. Thanks for reading!