Better Without You and Better than You

First off, maybe this is just a 'Matt' thing. I actually don't know if a lot of other people think about this, and if you don't, I'm sorry in advance. Allow to talk about myself for a few paragraphs.

One feeling that seems to rear its ugly head every so often with me is a feeling of insuperiority. Actually, that sounds wrong. That makes it sound like I'm whining when someone is better than me. That's not it at all, really. It's more of a feeling of 'You try so hard... and yet, you can't accomplish what you try... and here's someone else who can.'

I've talked about about lies of the Enemy to degrade ourselves to make us think the worst about ourselves, but this one is tricky. I'm not saying this one is not common, but it's easy to misunderstand by ourselves (and others) as selfishness. Here's a good example.

There's an amazing scene in the newest Harry Potter film, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One' where Ron Weasly and Harry Potter are standing, together, preparing to destroy the Horcrux. If you don't follow the series, you're probably like 'What.' but that's that's okay. The Horcrux is basically the soul of their greatest Enemy, which they are basically battling for seven movies now. Sound familiar?

There they stand with the sword promised to be able to combat the Horcrux, and to destroy it, they must expose it (The allegory is unmistakable). They open the locket, and a flood of darkness and shadow encircle Ron and Harry.

(Note: this is an illegal video someone recorded in the theater, and the title of the video... might detour you from watching it, but it's the scene I'm talking about. Listen to the dialog.')

Wow, huh? How often have we heard the same lie? 'You are nothing... compared to him?'

Voldemort (the Enemy, in our case) uses the same tricks to get us to believe the worst. Poor Ron is attacked over and over again in this scene: "Least loved by your mother who craved a daughter..." "Least loved by the girl who prefers your friend..." Ouch. Voldemort, are you sure you're not talking to me, Matt Walker? It goes on.

A vision appears before Ron. His best friend... saying something that kills him inside. "We were better without you. Happier without you..." Then, Hermione speaks. "Who could even LIKE you..." "What are you... compared to [Harry?]" "What woman would take you... you are nothing..." Yikes.

Seem familiar? Have we not all had the same attacks laid against us before? Have we not all been through exactly what Ron is dealing with in that scene right there? The Enemy telling us things that we know aren't true... but that seem more true than anything else?

"Your friends are happier without you." "Your not at all what your parents wanted." "What woman/man could ever love you?" "So-n-no is superior; why do you even try?" "You are unlovable." "You are nothing."

I know, personally, I deal with at least half of those on a daily basis. The Enemy has a way of digging into the quietest openings in our heart, and despite the Proverbs urging us to 'guard them above all else,' (Proverbs 4:23), he finds a way in. He exploits our weaknesses. He plants thoughts and ideas that turn on us, and eat us alive. Our most clever Enemy knows our heart better than we do it seems... and he knows how to destroy it.

What do we do? How do we stop it? All these lies feel so true. You know they do to Ron Weasly. You know they hurt him deeper than anything. What on earth does he do now? What on earth do We do now?

We have to destroy it.

Like Harry in that scene, we have our friends and people that love us shouting 'It's lying!' or 'Kill it!' but what about when they don't? What about when they let it happen? What if they don't even seem to realize it's happening? What if it seems they don't care?

"Though an army might encamp against me, my heart shall not fear. Though war may rise against me, in [God] I will be confident." (Psalm 27:3)

God is willing to fight with and for you. When the Enemy comes and begins his attack, God is on your side. He wants you to know the truth. He wants you to know your worth. He wants you to know the plans he has for you are for good, a hope and a future; not disaster. (Jeremiah 29:11). He wants you to know that YOU are here because YOU are the best person God could think of, in all of eternity, to do what the work he has planned. Isn't that something? Not only that, but to God, you and the plans he had for you were important enough to die for, before you even knew Him.

Nothing is better without you. Nothing is better than you. God doesn't think so; don't think so yourself. You would not exist had God not said 'They are worth it.'

You are worth it!

How, then, do we fight the Enemy? We attack back. With our own swords (Hebrews 4:12), like Ron did. We attack back.

And we will always be victorious.

I am an After-Thought

Let me begin with this question.

Have you ever felt like an after-thought?

Jason finds out there's an outing planned by his closest friends and they invite him at the last minute... or not at all. Laura feels left out when her parents are discussing the success of her older brother. David wonders if his friends talk to him out of anything other than pity. 'If I just didn't show up one day, would anyone miss me?' he thinks. Megan's closest friends often will leave her behind or not even say hello when they see her.

Have you ever felt like that? Sure you have. Everyone has. I have. Plenty of times.

I have a philosophy. If the Enemy is not attacking a Christian, he has no reason to. If Luke Skywalker and the rebels didn't fight to destroy the Death Star, do you think that Darth Vader would have flown his own personal TIE fighter out into battle? If Sauron didn't believe Frodo had any chance at making it up to Mt. Doom, would he have sent hoards of orcs after them? If Lord Voldemort didn't think Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, was any threat to him, would he have devoted his strength and ability to killing a mere teenager?

As a Christian, we have an Enemy, too, don't we? The bible calls him a 'deceiver.' In fact, his first assault on attempting to rip humanity from the arms of God was to get them... us, essentially... to believe his lie.

What lie is he trying to feed you? I think I've figured out mine.

'You are an after-thought.'

I think the one thing that can destroy my confidence... that can isolate me from the people I love... that can singe my heart to ash is thinking and feeling 'I am an after-thought.' And I feel that quite often, coming from the people I love the most, no less.

It's a very lonely thing - the feeling that you're not important enough to matter, or that your closest friends or your own family acknowledge you only out of pity or so they don't look completely rude. It's led to many tears, many days where I just don't want to get out of bed... it's even led to me going to the doctor and having him put me on antidepressant medication... but they haven't helped at all. What is wrong with me?

Am I really so unlikable that even the people I thought I was closest to or the people I love the most scoff in disgust at the thought of me? That they hear me speak and look away? They run off and leave me behind, they plan family dinners without me, or they just plain act like they don't care at all? What have I done to offend them - Am I really so wretched?

This is an attack on my own heart if I've ever seen one... and I've seen plenty.

The thought of being an after-thought was plaguing my mind the other night and, I don't know how, but I began a text message conversation with someone I've probably only shook hands with once, but have Facebooked and had phone conversations with for a while now. He's a new friend that came about from both of us having a mutual friend - anyway, we were texting, and he ended up being a major encouragement to me.

I forgot how it came up, but I think I asked him just what I'm writing about right now. 'Have you ever felt like an after-thought? Like, even to the people you love the most?' His answer was absolutely a God-send; just what I needed to hear, even if it was something I already knew (which these things often are).

"...If we can wrap our minds around this, we'll never be the same. To your Savior, you are never an after-thought. You are His only thought!" (Zach R.)

Wow, huh? It's true, though. Even though I knew this already, it feels very important to have someone tell you this, personally. The very idea that there is actually someone - the God of the universe - doesn't even look at me as just a part of the human race, but as an individual; as someone who He has plans for, as someone He's proud of... someone He died for JUST so that He could be with... me? That is an incredible truth.

That's not just feel-good Christian talk, either. We find it all throughout the Bible, but I think it's summed up best in the most popular Bible verse of all. John 3:16.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

A more heart-felt translation might put it this way.

"God loved you, as an individual, so much, He stepped down out of His own Kingdom to die for you - to pay your debt - because he loved you so much. Because He has done so, He's given you the opportunity to live forever, and perish not."

John Eldredge says this in his breath-taking book, 'Waking the Dead.'

"We rebelled, and the penalty for our rebellion was death. To lose [you] was too great a pain for God to bear, and so he took it upon himself to rescue [you]." -John Eldredge

I think when we think of Jesus coming to save the world, we think about Jesus coming to save everyone rather than Jesus coming to save EVERY ONE. Notice the space. Every individual, not just humanity as a collective. He came to ransom and rescue you, dear reader. He came to rescue you, specifically. Think about that for a moment. He came to rescue you, as an individual.

Which reminds me that... He came to rescue me. He came to rescue Matt Walker.

I am no after-thought to the person who matters most. I am adored by Jesus Christ. So much so, that being nailed to a beam of wood, hanging for hours with broken bones as a crown of thorns lodged into his skull causes him to die a slow and painful death... was less painful than the very thought of being apart... from me. Matt Walker. For God so loved Matt Walker...

Even though I know my friends love me, even though I know my family loves me, even if they didn't... the fact of the matter is that nothing I could ever do can separate me from God's love. The remarkable thing about that love - the thing that proves I am no after-thought - is that God chose me, like he chose you. It wasn't a collective salvation effort. He looked at me, he looked at you, and there was not a doubt in His mind: '[Insert Name Here] is worth it, to me.' That is an incredibly encouraging thought.

Next time you struggle with the idea of being an after-thought, or even less than that... remember that, quite simply, you are not. You're more than just a sinner saved by grace. You're more than a Christian, and you're more than a number on some divine Christian tally list. You are an heir to a Kingdom because the almighty Creator and Ruler of existence said 'You know, I love that guy/girl so much, that I'm going to have them do big things.' You are loved.

I am loved.

Thanks for reading.

Story Teller, Part Two: 'Character Development'

"He's a real Nowhere Man, sitting is his Nowhere Land, making all his Nowhere Plans for Nobody..."

Peter Parker is the nerdy High School kid that just wants to 'get the girl.' Frodo Baggins is a Hobbit from the Shire where 'nobody ever had adventures or did anything unexpected.' Luke Skywalker is the lonely farm boy on the desert planet of Tatooine where he feels he's 'never gonna get out of [there...].' Harry Potter is a miserable orphan living with his awful Aunt and Uncle who 'were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.' Sora is a teenage boy from a small island in the middle of nowhere. Link is a Kokiri child living in a tree house. Abraham Lincoln is born, poor, in a log cabin, and homeschools himself by candlelight for years. Jesus of Nazareth is born the son of a common carpenter in a barn.

All these stories, whether they're fictional or not, all start similarly, do they not? You have your main character living a pretty... boring life. Sometimes, it's a hard one, at that. King David is a scrawny shepherd. Aragorn is basically Middle Earth's equivalent of a hobo. Jack Shepherd is a normal doctor with daddy issues. The list goes on, and on, and I think, a lot of times, we can relate. I know I can.

Some one asked me not too long ago to 'tell them the Matt Walker story.'
"I'm afraid it's pretty unexciting and uneventful up to this point," I replied.
"Well, it's not finished yet," he said.

In part one, I talked about my drive to be a story teller. About how, since birth basically, I've been creating stories and tales and worlds and characters because... it just felt right. Whether I express that through my writing, or filmmaking, or even just imagining and dreaming - I feel, at my core, I was born - I was created - to be a story teller. But, at the end of the last post, I expressed how things have slowed down considerably in recent days.

Which makes me think about where I could possibly be in my timeline right now. Sometimes... actually, a lot of the time, lately... I feel like Bilbo having morning tea with Gandalf. Glancing out the window on the lovely home he's blessed with, but feeling... discontented. 'Like... butter scraped over too much bread,' he says. Sometimes, I feel like Peter Parker, dreaming of the day he can get the girl, move past his years as a teenager, and get on to what he was meant to do. Sometimes, I feel like Luke Skywalker or Sora from 'Kingdom Hearts' and I just want to... go.

Go away, physically? Not really. More like... hurry up. Go ahead. Get to Act II. Press the 'Next' button on the remote; skip to the next chapter; cut to the chase. You get my drift.

I know this is foolish, I know it is. I know I'm supposed to 'Wait for the lord, be strong and take heart,' (Psalm 27:14) and I know that 'God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them,' (Romans 8:28) but when? When does Obi-Wan give me my lightsaber? When does Gandalf tell me I need to leave for Rivendell? When does the radioactive spider bite me, or when does Hagrid knock down my door one day and say 'Guess what, Matt? You're not only capable, but were born with the natural ability, to do extraordinary, supernatural, unexplainable things?'

It feels like it's taking forever.

Worse than that, I feel like I'm going the wrong direction. Even though I know it takes time and patience to get there - it's a long path, indeed - I feel like I'm going down the wrong path altogether. Like in 'The Fellowship of the Ring' when the Company is nearly brought down by the mighty blizzard on top of Mt. Caradhras, as they're going the wrong way in the first place. I'm not acting like Jonah, though, where God told him to go one way, and he's going in the other - no, not at all. I feel like I'm out at sea without a map. Lost in the forest without a guide. Wandering a mountain range without so much as a path.

But (and here comes the kicker)... is that such a bad thing?

Think about a story that begins with the hero in Nowheresville, doing nothing, with no adventure, no lover, no nothing. Where do we learn the most of that person? Where do authors and filmmakers take the time to develop their characters? In the first scenes and in the first chapters. Where do television producers take time to tell back stories, to develop personalities, to make you care about the people they've created? In the first season. In the first Act.

So what is the Author of eternity doing and planning during my first chapter, or rather, my first book?

A lot of the time, our favorite characters are thrust into circumstance that later lead to the rest of their story. Luke's home is attacked, the storm visits the Destiny Islands, word of Voldemort rising again startles the Wizarding World, etc. But they all start from somewhere, do they not? 'From humble beginnings...' we hear often.

My prayer these days is that God is developing me like a hero in an epic story. That He is using this time of seemingly inactivity to shape me into the person - the man - I was created to be, prepared to do the things He has prepared me to do, and the stories He has inspired me to tell. My prayer is that when the day does come that the Ring falls into my hands, that I know what to do with it. When I take off with Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi, that I understand the ways of the Force. That when I stumble through the wardrobe in to Narnia, I'm wearing a coat to keep me warm and safe. That when the time comes, I'm ready to take up my cross and follow Him.

That is my prayer. It's exciting to think about the future, and the good things God has planned for us. Let us not, however, forget the crucial step of character development. Without character development... well, we're just in a crappy movie like 'Avatar,' aren't we?

So it is, eventually, that Peter Parker becomes Spider-man, and saves the city and wins the heart of Mary Jane. Frodo Baggins saves Middle Earth. Luke Skywalker redeems his own father, and puts an end to tyranny in the Galaxy. Harry Potter defeats the Dark Lord. Sora understands the light that exists in the human heart. Link defeats Gannondorf, Abraham Lincoln becomes the President that sets the slaves free, and Jesus Christ raises from the dead, and ascends into Heaven.

I wonder what Matt Walker will do?

Lord of the Rings and Jesus - The Battle for Helm's Heart

"The dark tide flowed up to the walls from cliff to cliff. Thunder rolled in the valley. Rain came lashing down.

Arrows thick as the rain came whistling over the battlements, and fell clinking and glancing on the stones. Some found a mark. The assault on Helm's Deep had begun but no sound of challenge was heard within; no answering arrows came.

Then the Orcs screamed, waving spear and sword and shooting a cloud if arrows at any that stood revealed upon the battlements; and the men of the Mark amazed looked out, as it seemed to them, upon a great field of dark corn, tosses by a tempest of war, and every ear glinted with barbed light.
Brazen trumpets sounded.. The enemy surged forward... The lightning flashed, and blazoned upon every helm and shield the ghastly hand of Isengard was seen. They reached the summit of the rock; they drove towards the gates..." JRR Tolkien, 'The Two Towers'

Thus begins one of the pivotal battles in the story of 'Lord of the Rings.' The enemy of the free peoples of Middle Earth has forged an army of the foulest and most sinister soldiers imaginable, and they're going for where the people from the city of Edoras had hidden themselves - in the heart of a mountain; a fortress known as Helm's Deep.

What follows is an epic, devastating battle in which the Men of the Mark fight the Orcs of Isengard in arrow-firing, sword clashing, blood-shedding combat. If you've read the novels or seen the movies, you know how big of a deal the Battle for Helm's Deep was. Why did the evil wizard Saruman decide to send his soldiers and minions to attack the free people of Rohan? Why them, and why attack their settlement in the heart of the mountain?

I believe it's because Saruman could not stand, evil and powerful as he was, to be engaged in a war he would ultimately loose. He looked at those people, those free people led by a King, and felt such hatred that he wanted them dead, knowing he had already lost them.

Sounds a lot like our Enemy, doesn't it?

The thief, who comes to steal, kill, and destroy, looks upon the free children of God with such hatred, he does the same thing to us; he attacks us at our Helm's Deep - the heart. The heart, which is the very core to our life. The very thing Christ has set free - the very essence of our being. The good thing God put in us - the core of who we are, and who God is in our lives.

"Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life." - Proverbs 4:23, HCSB

We see in Lord of the Rings that the Rohirrim do just that - mustering up their courage, their strength, and, being led by the King, they attempt to guard their heart - they begin to fight off the Orcs attempting to seize Helm's Deep. Do you ever think of the battle for the heart in the same way? I'm going to capitalize that - it's so truly epic, it deserves it. Do you ever think about the Battle for the Heart in the same way? As the Enemy is ramming into the gates of the hold, they scream and shout as they rain arrows down upon the people and bang their spears and clash their swords. They obviously want to get in there. They want to kill. They want to steal. They want to destroy.

At that point, the people inside open their doors and say 'Come on in!!'

No, I'm kidding. Could you imagine? And yet... that's what so many of us do, don't we? Instead of guarding our hearts, we leave the door unlocked. Heck, sometimes, we let the Enemy in freely, don't we? We will sometimes invite him in. Scary thought, when put in perspective, isn't it? We invite him him by opening the doors and gates to the heart by the things we do, the things we say, the things we watch, read, listen to - the lives we live... like what's inside doesn't matter to us. Well, wait, what exactly is in the Heart?

"Do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God?" 1 Corinthians 6:19 HCSB

So.. what?

"Okay - each of us is now the Temple of God, so where, then, is the Holy of Holies? Your heart." -John Eldrege, 'Waking the Dead.'

Think about that. Your heart is the very place where the Holy Spirit dwells - where the Holy Spirit is, if you've put your faith and life in Christ. That's what they mean when they say 'You've got to let Jesus into your heart.' They mean that quite literally. God Himself comes to dwell in you the moment you put your faith in Him. The wonderful counselor makes His home within you, to always be with you. Cool stuff, huh?

Why are we so... lazy... in guarding our hearts, then? Why do we let the Enemy in so freely? What would have happened is the Rohirrim had just flung the gates to Helm's Deep open and said 'We welcome you, Enemy?' I think we don't realize how much of an attack we're under, and even if we did, I think we'd be scared. Makes sense - it's a scary thing fighting the one who wants to steal your happiness, destroy your life, and kill your spirit. The men of Edoras probably felt the same way. Scared. Unable and unwilling to defend the hold.

"So much... death..... what can men do against... such reckless hate?"
Aragorn, the True King speaks to him.
"Ride out with me. Ride out with me and meet them."

Fighting alongside the King, Theoden leads his men into battle with the Orcs of Isengard, and the epic Battle for Helm's Deep begins. "The sun is rising..." Gimli says.

We act like Theoden sometimes, don't we? Scared. Wondering what good fighting will really do in the end. What guarding the fortress, the Heart, will really be for. The King reminds us that the Heart is worth fighting for. He, himself, gave his very life to set it free - why wouldn't we try our hardest to guard the Heart from the enemy?

I believe that the Enemy doesn't have to do much to get into our hearts. He plants a tiny seed, and we water it. He gives us the tiniest bit of pain, or the smallest essence of doubt, and we latch onto it, and we let it grow. By believing his lies, we have let our guard down; we've swung the doors to Helms Deep and wide open and said 'Hey Satan! What are you trying to sell me?' and he comes in, and, literally, all hell breaks loose in our lives.

It is crucial to guard the heart. We are to do it 'above all else.' Why? Because it is the essence of our life, and the very dwelling place of the Holy Spirit.

In Lord of the Rings, eventually, the Men of the Mark were able to drive away their attackers. Yes, the Enemy got in for a split second because Rohan let their guard down, but alongside the King, they had their victory. The enemies ran screaming to hide in the forest, Tolkien writes. The same, too, shall happen to our enemies, if we defend, if we guard our Hearts with the help of the King.

"Let this be the hour... we draw swords together!" - Theoden, Lord of the Rings

" Don't assume that I came to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." - Matthew 10:34 HCSB

"For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as to divide soul, spirit, joints, and marrow..." - Hebrews 4:12 HCSB

Jesus has come to fight for and defend the Hearts of His people. He also says, to us, that the Bible is a sword. What better to defend the temple, the sanctuary, the hold, the castle of the Heart from a reckless, ever-attacking Enemy... than with the Sword of the King?

The enemy is coming. No, scratch that. He's already here. Let this be the hour you draw your sword. The hour is late, and the Enemy is breaking down your door. Trust and follow the King. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the source of life. To arms! CHARGE!

"This is a call to arms; gather soldiers! Time to go to war! This is a battle song; brothers and sisters, it's time to go to war!" - 30 Seconds to Mars, 'A Call to Arms,' - THIS IS WAR Album

Are you ready?

Here they come...

-Matt

Harry Potter and Jesus - Connecting the Dots

Warning: this blog post contains spoilers for Harry Potter, Lost, Narnia, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Saw, and Lord of the Rings. You've been warned!

This past month at my church, we've been doing a series called Dot 2 Dot - "Connecting the Dots to see the Big Picture." The whole idea behind it all is how God can use seemingly insignificant, tiny things and people as a part of his big picture, working them all together for the story He's trying to tell.

I have loved this series because of that very idea - the tiny, seemingly unimportant things actually being very significant when all is revealed in the end. Don't you love that, too? I think most people, Christian or not, love that aspect of stories, books, movies, television, etc.

How did 'Lost' remain on air for six seasons? After plot twist after plot twist; after turn after turn; after revelation after revelation, we find out little details we learned early on were significant after all. We see the identity of the skeletons in the cave revealed, we find out what the island is, and we find out that Jack Shepherd and the Oceanic Six have a crucial role to play.

How did JK Rowling get professors of literature to read a Scholastic Childern's novel series? After seven whole books in the Harry Potter series, we see that, thousands of pages prior, we learned the secret (knew all along) to the defeat Voldemort, who up until now sent fear to those who dare speak his name. We see that a friend-turned-foe-but-not-really was actually fighting for righteousness all along. We see the secrets of the Hocruxes revealed, and we see that not only Harry, but all his friends and allies had crucial roles to play.

We see it in Narnia, we the Pevensie children stumble into a brand new world - four seemingly unimportant orphans who were to become kings and queens of the realm. We see it in Lord of the Rings' Middle Earth, where Aragorn, a seemingly unimportant and mysterious ranger of the forests and plains surrounding the Shire, is actually revealed to be the heir to the throne of Gondor. Heck, we even see it in the popular horror franchise, 'Saw! (mature content warning on that link)' Despite being overly gruesome, horrifically grotesque, and atrociously vulgar, we see a complex tapestry of brilliant story and plot twists take shape in a world where people hide in fear from evil. It is revealed who his accomplices were. It's revealed who he was working with, and who has carried on his work after his death. It's revealed that a detective who had been working to find the killer since the beginning actually has a crucial role to play. (Just take my word for it... you probably shouldn't see it. ;) )

We see it all around; we see see little dots being connecting in ways we'd never see coming. Why do we love it so much when a tiny forgotten detail turns up to be something important?

Because we long to be that dot.

We all have probably hear Romans 8:28 before. "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Or, as 'The Message' says it, "...we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Every detail... every seemingly significant detail... every small, little thing... can and will be working into God's story for good, for those who love him. Wow, huh?

Let's look at someone who was seemingly insignificant, but who turned out to save the world from Sin, set captives free, justify the world, and bring about the end of the reign of evil on Earth. Jesus Christ.

In the dead of night, on a chilly night, a virgin girl, not even married yet, but engaged, gave birth to a child. Despite that being a physical impossibility, it happened, quietly, in a barn of all places. A single angel from heaven informed this girl, Mary, who this miracle child would be, and what she should name him. She followed the angel's instruction, and named the little newborn 'Jesus.'

Jesus was raised as a carpenter. A rugged job for the son (or step-son, as it were) of the rugged man who was Mary's husband, Joseph. Carpenters weren't exactly taught the fullness of Jewish law like other, more 'important' children of religious leaders or what-have-you, but Jesus was meek and humble before starting his ministry.

But, eventually, start it he did. And it was a shock to the world.

Some of the things he said, some of the things he taught, the people he criticized, the people he healed, the people he saved from the grave itself spread like wildfire across the area, and later on, literally, across the Earth. Governments feared him. Religious leaders abhorred him. People loved him, but there were some who wanted him dead.

And in the end, they killed him. Or so they had thought.

Which leads us to the plot twist: the Resurrection. The savior is dead, and in his grave. His people grieve as evil sweeps across the land. In JK Rowling's final book in the Harry Potter series, we see Voldemort, the Dark Lord, invoke the dreaded Unforgivable Killing curse, the Avada Kedavra, and kill Harry Potter, as he stands before him, preparing to die without a fight. Then, he, Voldemort, is seen gloating over the body of Harry Potter, who was supposed to be 'The Chosen One;' the one who would save the Wizarding World from the evil one. We see Voldemort displaying the limp body of Harry to his friends and allies, who all recoil in horror as they see his body, before them, dead. He was not dead, though; no, not at all.

When all hope seemed lost, when the end seemed near, when all was about to end, Harry sheds his Invisibility Cloak (a veil or sorts), and is standing, fully alive and standing before the Dark Lord. His allies cheer - 'HE'S ALIVE!' they scream.

Wand in hand, standing in the radiant, shimmering sun rising over Hogwarts castle, it's down to Harry and Voldemort - the climax has arrived.

Maybe it's just the little boy in me, but I love 'Final Showdowns.' Sure, epic wars and big battle scenes are awesome, but there's something about two individuals, locked in combat, that seems to awaken to little warrior in me; the little boy that used to own the plastic lightsaber, the foam sword, and the Nerf gun.

We see Luke engage in lightsaber combat with Vader. We see Frodo and Gollum struggle on the teetering ledge over the fires of Mt. Doom. We see Jack Shepherd and The Man in Black, disguised as John Locke, duke it out on a mountaintop on The Island as a storm wreaks havoc around them. We see King Peter face King Miraz and Aslan, the White Witch. We see Inigo Montoya duel Count Rugen, the man who killed his father. And, as I was talking about a moment ago, we see Harry face Voldemort.

Harry and Voldemort face each other. Voldemort, though still boasting his foolish pride, is actually quaking in fear because he realizes this could very well be the end. With one flick of his wand, he casts, once again, the Avada Kedavra, the Killing Curse, at Harry.

Harry, though, cannot be conquered.

With a flick of his own wand, he casts the Disarming Charm at his enemy, which does more than makes him loose drop with wand. It disarms him for good. The evil one is dead. Hogwarts celebrates their freedom and victory.

Harry Potter. The orphan who started in book one as the little 11 year old boy who lived in a closet under a staircase with his horrible Aunt and Uncle. A person probably can't feel more insignificant than that, can they? Harry was seemingly unimportant, but that's been a recurring word here in this blog post, hasn't it? 'Seemingly.'

He discovers that that little scar on his forehead - that little mark, that little dot - plays a crucial role to the story he's found himself in. He discovers that a prophecy has been made on his behalf, and that he has an absolutely crucial role to play in the destruction of the Evil One and the saving of the world from Death (Eaters...).

I think a lot of us feel like Harry Potter sometimes. Nothing we do could possibly matter. Serving in this small capacity couldn't possibly mean anything in the 'big picture.' Allowing God to use me in this tiny way can't be worth anything.

Oh, but it can!

Never believe you are insignificant. As Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, God has plans for you. BIG plans. GREAT plans. For Hope, and a 'good future,' the NCV tells us. " I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." The Message says.

God KNOWS what he's doing! It's up to Him to connect the dots, and he will. It's up to you to remain faithful, to keep your heart, mind, eyes, and ears open to God, so that he can connect your dot to the right dot it needs to be connected to. Trust him - He knows what He's doing.

Thanks for reading!

Mischief Managed,

-Matt

God as Our Father

There are a few Christian authors/speakers/pastors out there that God has used in my life in pretty big ways. People like Perry Noble of NewSpring Chuch, or Greg Laurie of Harvest Ministries, or even musicians like Dan Haseltine of Jars of Clay or Jon Foreman of Switchfoot. One man, though, who podcasts and books have really effected me and changed my perspectives on a lot of things is John Eldredge of Ransomed Heart Ministries. This blog post isn't necessarily about any particular idea he presents, but one that is one of the simplest, oldest biblical ideas he wrote about in a book(Fathered by God); the idea of God as Father.

My father is a Lt. Col. in our county's Sheriff's office and the commander on our S.W.A.T. team. Lt. Col. is pretty high up in the ranks - I believe 2nd or 3rd only to the Sheriff himself. He's a pretty important guy - he's in charge of a lot of things and a lot of people - has been as far back as I can remember.

I remember as a kid of around seven or so, our area would put on a huge arts and crafts festival where, literally, thousands of people would flock to buy wood-craved yard decorations, old knick-knacks, and basically a lot of crap no one would ever need, ever. It was a lot of fun to just walk around and see everything, though. The Sheriff's office was always in charge of security, and it would seem that my dad was always the head of that. I remember waking up early the weekend of the festival and riding in my dad's cop car all the way to the fairgrounds, and getting out behind the Sheriff's office headquarters. Even as a little kid, I felt so respected and important around the other officers. Why? Because I was the son of the guy in charge!

I was big stuff for only seven years old! I knew that no one could pick on me - my dad was a cop. He was able to give me all sorts of cool stuff that the county would give him for free, or that he's get in the festival for just being a police officer, and he'd give them to me. The popcorn lady would give him a bag, and he'd give it to me, or he'd get me something from the wooden toy place (like these wicked rubber band guns they used to have); all that kind of thing.

But, most importantly, I was the son of the man in charge, which made me feel special, but that's because I was special; still am! The bible says in Matthew 7:11 "So if you know how to give good gifts to your own children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him!" I don't have children, yet, but I know, when I do, it's going to take everything I have not to spoil my kids by just giving them every thing their little hearts desire. I take joy in that sort of thing - making someone else happy, especially children, and I'd imagine especially if they were my own. A father - a dad - that genuinely loves to make his kids happy? You ever think of God like that?

I think all too often we will recall God as 'Father,' but do we ever really think of him as a loving father? I think we neglect that quality of God too often! God is generous, he is good, and he is loving - the perfect father.

"You are the son of a kind, strong, and engaged father; a father wise enough to guide you in the Way, generous enough to provide for your journey, offering to walk with you every step. This is perhaps the hardest thing to believe - really believe, down deep in our hearts, so that it changes us forever, changes the was we approach each day." -John Eldredge, 'Fathered by God'

As a Christian, you are an adopted child of God. Ever think of that? Ever think about how your dad is 'the man in charge?' How much he loves you? Like, as a father, loves you? Ever think about how important you are to Him? How proud of you he is when you do something great, or how forgiving and loving his is when you mess up? That's a big one. What about how he's there to offer wisdom when you need it? Or when you just need to know your loved? The father who provides for you, the father who 'walks with you every step' of the way? My friends, God is Father!

I know, personally, if there's one quality of God I tend to overlook so often, it's his ability to father me. Eldredge says, through prayer, in his book...

"You have taken me home, through Christ, to be your own son. I accept that. I give my life back to you, to be your true son. Father me. Father me."

Those are powerful words, aren't they? I don't have much more to say (tonight at least - it's 2:3oAM, haha), but I will say this - will you let God... be your father?

See, now I really want to read through 'Fathered by God' again. :)

"I live because of the living Father who sent me; in the same way, anyone who feeds on me will live because of me." John 6:57 NLT

Love & War - Part Two - It Is Worth It

Marriage is worth it.

Wow, isn't that such an odd thing to hear nowadays? How many people on television, in movies, on the internet can say such a bold thing? 'Marriage is worth it.' Worth what, though?

As I'm making my way through 'Love & War,' which was given to me free by the awesome people at Ransomed Heart Ministries, I'm really trying to keep an open mind on relationships, dating, and eventually, marriage. I'm not ready for anything like that yet, and that was made even more obvious by the introduction to this book - even before you got the the first chapter, it was made incredibly clear that it's a fight. It's a battle, and the one thing I think I understood most from reading the introduction was that I have to get my crap together before I want to pursue anything like a relationship with a girl.

John says to a man he's performing a wedding ceremony for as he's at the altar,

"You are about to give your life away. You are stepping up, you are volunteering for the toughest assignment a man will ever be given: to offer your heart and your strength to [woman], time and time and time again, for the rest of your days."

Wow. After reading that, it makes me believe that eloping - getting married in the spur of the moment - is an extremely foolish thing. I don't think I've ever thought of myself in the context of a marriage - a family. Do I have the heart and strength needed to support a woman I love? She'll need that from me. Can I give it to her?

"My words to you today are: it can be done. And it is worth it. To discover that because of your strength (for the guys and men reading) and your sacrifice, [woman] can become the woman she was meant to be - that, somehow, your fierce love can free her heart and release her beauty - that is whatever this may cost to you."

Free her heart. Release her beauty. Eldredge wasn't lying when he said that we live in a 'mythic' world. Those are some significant, epic words right there. That I am to provide my strength and fierce love to free and release her. Like the knights of the stores I used to read as a kid (heck - I still enjoy them). A beautiful, fair princess trapped in a tower, all alone, waiting for someone to come along and rescue her. Do I have the strength and the fierce love to release her - set her free?

No, not yet I don't.

That's why I'm feeling so blessed to have received this book. It's showing me, NOW, before I'm really even thinking about it, I need to be preparing myself for marriage, in respect to I need to 'clean up my junk,' as Perry Noble puts it. I cannot possibly fully offer my strength and love to a woman when I fill my life with junk, and let pointless (or worse... sinful) things clutter my heart.

Today, Jerry Davison, the Creative Arts Pastor at my church, was praying over the marriages in our church and our community (as part of a special day of prayer - you can read about it here), and he said one thing that jumped out at me... but only now, after reading this introduction to 'Love & War.' He prayed for those of us who weren't married yet, and not even necessarily looking yet. Isn't that something? Praying for the future marriages of people - of myself. That's something certainly I've never really done before, except maybe once or twice.

Praying for the woman, someday, I'll fall in love with, and offer my strength to. I may not even know her yet, but my prayer is that she is praying for ME (even if she doesn't know me yet), and that she is praying for the relationship she could/will have someday. That's a very exciting, very scary, very thrilling, very nerve-rattling thought.

Can I do it, though? Am I strong enough? I know I'm not ready now, but will I ever be? Really? Me, the one who can fail at the slightest temptation? The one who was never really taught how to be a Christan, or the one who has never really even had a girlfriend, outside of little elementary school crushes? Can I do this?

I don't know how many single guys read my blog, but this is one thing that John concludes the introduction chapter with:

"By the grace of God, you can do this. You have what it takes."

By the grace of God, I can do this. Maybe not now, but after preparation, I will be ready. Right now, I need to ready my heart for the... adventure that is marriage. I need to allow God to heal my heart, clean my heart, and prepare my heart. I have what it takes.

Wow, huh? I'm not even in Chapter One yet!! This is going to be an amazing study. Keep coming back for more blogging, thoughts, and fun from your's truly, Matt Walker.

A wife of noble character, who can find? She is more valuable than rubies... (Proverbs 31:10)

Love & War - Part One - Single Dude

Ransomed Heart Ministries was kind enough (and awesome enough) to give me the opportunity to review and send me a copy of John and Stasi Eldredge's newest book, 'Love & War: Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed of.'

I know what you're already thinking. "Matt. You're not married."

I know, you're right - I'm not married. I'm not engaged, and I don't have a girlfriend. Why on earth would I be interested in reading this book?

The opening pages make it very clear - nothing is what it seems.

As I begin reading through this book, I'll be blogging. I plan on writing at least a few of my thoughts for every chapter. I think that this book will offer a fresh, great perspective on marriage, and my future role in it. John Eldredge has been used by God in incredible ways in the past - including using his work in my own life - and there is no doubt this book (about marriage) is sitting on my desk for a reason.

I think that, at least to my readers and those who stumble across this blog, it will be interesting to see what I learn as a 'single dude' making my way through this book. Marriage and starting a family (as my Pastor Steve Whipple says, 'You don't start a family when you have kids, you start a marriage when you say 'I do.') is something I am, actually, looking forward to in the future. No way am I ready, nor have I found anyone to take with me on that journey, but it's exciting to think about. That's exactly what it is, though, isn't it? A journey together (at the risk of sounding cheesy and wedding-priest-y.).

So, right now, my mind is clear, and I don't have any expectations for 'Love & War,' except for one: it's got a message I should hear.

Keep coming back for more on 'Love & War' from the perspective of Matt Walker - me, you're friendly neighborhood single dude. Thanks for reading!

Jesus Christ Loves Hitler

I was talking with some friends the other night about 'the fairness of God.' The question someone asked was 'You see it all throughout the Old Testament - someone making God angry, and He strikes them down. Then, you see people like terrorists, rapists, child molesters, and they walk around without justice brought to them. Why is that?' That's not a quote, but the general idea is the same.

Perry Noble said once about the same subject, "Don't even talk to God about 'fair.' 'Fair' is you being struck down and sent to hell for the FIRST sin you ever commit. 'Fair' is punishment for EVERY wrong thing you've EVER done. Don't even talk to God about fair." Okay. So... that wasn't exactly a quote, either, but run with me on this.

So, I was thinking a lot about this - 'Why is that?'

The answer was simple - 'Because he loves us, and has mercy.'

Ever really think about the word 'mercy?' It's defined in the dictionary as...

Mercy - a disposition to be kind and forgiving.

Kind and forgiving. To even the worst of the worst? Of course, the bible tells us...

For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. ---James 2:10

So, sin is seen equally by God, but we're left with the question 'Why?' The answer came to me pretty subtly, but oh so powerfully. It's his love behind his mercy that makes it so incredible.

Take Adolf Hitler for example - one of the most hated, most abhorred, biggest villains of the history of the world. He was directly responsible for the murder of millions of people (God's chosen people, by biblical standards) and was directly responsible for the brainwashing of millions of well-meaning German people (many of the Christians). Why on earth wouldn't God have stricken him down right there?

Because of his mercy and love. Yes, even for someone like Adolf Hitler.

Think of it in this perspective. It's not that God didn't care the Hitler did all those horrible things - it's that God loved Hitler so much, he was willing to give him an entire lifetime to repent from his sin and truly follow Jesus. Did God approve of the things Hitler did - Does God approve of what the nasty people of the world do now? Of course not. But he loves us nonetheless.

God's mercy is not just saving sinners once we put our faith in him - it's giving sinners an entire lifetime as an opportunity to receive the gift of eternal life promised to us in Jesus Christ. Now THAT'S mercy! I know if I was all-powerful, I'd be too selfish to give some people (like Hitler) the chance to accept my offer of salvation - I know I'd be too selfish to send my own son to die for someone like Adolf Hitler. But, thankfully, our God is not selfish. He is loving, merciful, and sovereign.

So, remember that when you think 'That's not fair, God!' Because, really, when we say that, we're saying 'God, don't let your sacrifice cover some people.'

Thanks for reading!

-Matt

'Scraped over too much Bread...'

"I feel...thin. Sort of stretched, like...butter scraped over too much bread."

...said Bilbo Baggins the day of his 111st birthday. In the JRR Tolkien's classic, he's sitting with Gandalf, the wise old wizard, in his cozy hobbit hole the morning of his birthday. Just outside his door, people are preparing a big event for the hobbit... but Bilbo feels empty. He has everything he could ever want - just a few years prior he went on a grand adventure and claimed an enormous amount of gold from an evil dragon. His home was filled to the rim of gold, jewels, and treasure. But here he is, sitting here pouring Gandalf a cup of tea as the sun comes shining in on an otherwise perfect day.

I feel like Bilbo these days.

I am extremely blessed to have all I have. I am serving in a fantastic church that 'gets it.' I am doing what I love with video in many different places, including that very same church. I have committed to writing and recording a Christian podcast that can, no doubt, change many perspectives or lives. I am chasing my dreams, I have all I need, and I'm surrounded by awesome people. But still - this emptiness. I am Bilbo Baggins.

Inside Bag End, Bilbo and Gandalf were sitting at the open window of a small room looking out west on to the garden. The late afternoon was bright and peaceful. The flowers glowed red and golden; snap-dragons and sunflowers. "How bright your garden looks!" said Gandalf. "Yes," said Bilbo, "I am very fond indeed of it, and of all the dear old Shire; but I think I need a holiday." -The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, JRR TOLKEIN

Here Bilbo sits with every beautiful thing in the world he could want or imagine. Awesome and beautiful things right outside his window. He's surrounded by things that, by normal account, would make him happy. Yet, he still is unhappy. I am Bilbo Baggins.

"I'm old, Gandalf," Bilbo says to Gandalf after confessing his uneasiness. "I know I don't lookit, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart." He sits down, trying to find comfort. He then says, "I feel thin... like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday." I am Bilbo Baggins.

What is bringing about this discontent in my heart? Am I growing weary of the good things I'm surrounded by? I don't believe so. If that were the case for our dear hobbit Bilbo, he would have just given his possessions to his relatives, and see if that would have helped. What is it then?

We find a clue in what Bilbo says to Gandalf during their tea conversation.

"I want to see mountains again - MOUNTAINS, Gandalf!" Mountains. The world. Adventure. The wilderness. Not the safety of Eden, but the danger and wild of the untrodden world beyond.

"I am not alive in an office. I am not alive in a taxi cab. I am not alive on a sidewalk." -Wild at Heart, JOHN ELDREDGE

I need adventure. Maybe not a backpacking adventure, or a canoeing expedition, but a spiritual adventure. One where there's a mountain to climb, and one where I figure out what God is trying to tell me. I am positive he is trying to communicate something to me. What, though? How am I supposed to figure it out with everything pressing me from all sides? When will I get a chance?

"We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don't know what to do, we never give up. In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again. So we're not giving up. How could we!? Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace." -2 Corinthians 4:8-9 CEV, 4:16 'The Message.'

God is always with me - with us - even when we are stressed out, even when we suffer, and even when we feel like poor Bilbo did - old. Weak. Stretched. Weary. Worn. Broken. He's there, and he never lets go. Does it end by itself, though? Hardly ever. I believe God is constantly calling us to climb higher up the mountain. Sometimes, though, he leads us to comfortable resting places that we like to hang out at for a while. He's waiting on the path waving his arms saying 'Follow me! We've still got this mountain to climb - this adventure to continue - but I feel like I'm saying 'I'm fine right here.'

But I obviously am not 'fine right here.' My prayer to God tonight is the same as Bilbo's plea to Gandalf was. "I want to see mountains again, MOUNTAINS, Jesus!' I want to continue this adventure, but I've become so content here. How do I move along?

By taking his hand. Embracing him. Following him, and letting him lead.

"Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." -Psalm 25:4-5, NLT

I'm ready. Are you?
Thanks for reading.

-Matt

"I thought up an ending for my book. 'And he lived happily ever after. Even to the end of his days."

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.