Better Without You and Better than You

First off, maybe this is just a 'Matt' thing. I actually don't know if a lot of other people think about this, and if you don't, I'm sorry in advance. Allow to talk about myself for a few paragraphs.

One feeling that seems to rear its ugly head every so often with me is a feeling of insuperiority. Actually, that sounds wrong. That makes it sound like I'm whining when someone is better than me. That's not it at all, really. It's more of a feeling of 'You try so hard... and yet, you can't accomplish what you try... and here's someone else who can.'

I've talked about about lies of the Enemy to degrade ourselves to make us think the worst about ourselves, but this one is tricky. I'm not saying this one is not common, but it's easy to misunderstand by ourselves (and others) as selfishness. Here's a good example.

There's an amazing scene in the newest Harry Potter film, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One' where Ron Weasly and Harry Potter are standing, together, preparing to destroy the Horcrux. If you don't follow the series, you're probably like 'What.' but that's that's okay. The Horcrux is basically the soul of their greatest Enemy, which they are basically battling for seven movies now. Sound familiar?

There they stand with the sword promised to be able to combat the Horcrux, and to destroy it, they must expose it (The allegory is unmistakable). They open the locket, and a flood of darkness and shadow encircle Ron and Harry.

(Note: this is an illegal video someone recorded in the theater, and the title of the video... might detour you from watching it, but it's the scene I'm talking about. Listen to the dialog.')

Wow, huh? How often have we heard the same lie? 'You are nothing... compared to him?'

Voldemort (the Enemy, in our case) uses the same tricks to get us to believe the worst. Poor Ron is attacked over and over again in this scene: "Least loved by your mother who craved a daughter..." "Least loved by the girl who prefers your friend..." Ouch. Voldemort, are you sure you're not talking to me, Matt Walker? It goes on.

A vision appears before Ron. His best friend... saying something that kills him inside. "We were better without you. Happier without you..." Then, Hermione speaks. "Who could even LIKE you..." "What are you... compared to [Harry?]" "What woman would take you... you are nothing..." Yikes.

Seem familiar? Have we not all had the same attacks laid against us before? Have we not all been through exactly what Ron is dealing with in that scene right there? The Enemy telling us things that we know aren't true... but that seem more true than anything else?

"Your friends are happier without you." "Your not at all what your parents wanted." "What woman/man could ever love you?" "So-n-no is superior; why do you even try?" "You are unlovable." "You are nothing."

I know, personally, I deal with at least half of those on a daily basis. The Enemy has a way of digging into the quietest openings in our heart, and despite the Proverbs urging us to 'guard them above all else,' (Proverbs 4:23), he finds a way in. He exploits our weaknesses. He plants thoughts and ideas that turn on us, and eat us alive. Our most clever Enemy knows our heart better than we do it seems... and he knows how to destroy it.

What do we do? How do we stop it? All these lies feel so true. You know they do to Ron Weasly. You know they hurt him deeper than anything. What on earth does he do now? What on earth do We do now?

We have to destroy it.

Like Harry in that scene, we have our friends and people that love us shouting 'It's lying!' or 'Kill it!' but what about when they don't? What about when they let it happen? What if they don't even seem to realize it's happening? What if it seems they don't care?

"Though an army might encamp against me, my heart shall not fear. Though war may rise against me, in [God] I will be confident." (Psalm 27:3)

God is willing to fight with and for you. When the Enemy comes and begins his attack, God is on your side. He wants you to know the truth. He wants you to know your worth. He wants you to know the plans he has for you are for good, a hope and a future; not disaster. (Jeremiah 29:11). He wants you to know that YOU are here because YOU are the best person God could think of, in all of eternity, to do what the work he has planned. Isn't that something? Not only that, but to God, you and the plans he had for you were important enough to die for, before you even knew Him.

Nothing is better without you. Nothing is better than you. God doesn't think so; don't think so yourself. You would not exist had God not said 'They are worth it.'

You are worth it!

How, then, do we fight the Enemy? We attack back. With our own swords (Hebrews 4:12), like Ron did. We attack back.

And we will always be victorious.

An Obvious Perspective on Prayer

I pray a lot. I mean, I'm a Christian - someone who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ; of course, I'm going to talk to Him. I pray when I get up, usually when I eat, throughout the day, in the shower, in the car, when I'm going to bed, and in bed. I set aside a special time each day to study His word, and to pray (I... set the time aside, although I'm not the best at keeping it...), but I do pray often. 1 Thessalonians says we need to pray without ceasing, and for the most part I think I do that. At least, I do more than some Christians...

But I had a brief conversation (actually, it was more like a few passing comments) between a good friend of mine, named Whitney that really made me think about how I pray.

First off, a little bit of background. These past few months have been pretty rough for me. I've been really down, I've had a lot on my mind, I've been really kind of sad these days. It's gotten pretty bad at times, too. There were some people I knew I needed to apologize to, to be open with, to be honest with, and just needed to speak to, but I've been finding it hard to be open with... anyone.

If you have a personality like me, you know how hard it can be to be open with anyone - even the people you're closest to; the people you love. It's taken me two weeks before to work up the courage to say things to some of my best friends before - I'm not shy, I just have a hard time giving any bit of my heart to anyone it would seem.

Well, I said something about this the other day - about it being hard to be open with people. Whitney said something that, at the time, I thought was nice, but it wasn't until days later I remember what she said, and my perspective was changed drastically.

She said (paraphrased, not quoted), that she knew how I felt - she has problems with that, too. Then, Whitney said something that seemed like the obvious thing to do, but I realized I had never done it. She said that, really, the only one she felt she could really open up to was God (and once in a while, their little pup that I have a love/bark-madly-at relationship with, but that's not important.)

And it wasn't until a few days later that I really sat down and thought about that. 'Even though I pray often... have I really ever opened up to God?' The more I thought about it, the more I realized... no, I have not.

I realized that most of the time, my prayers could fall under four catergories: Please, Thank You, You Are, I Am.

Please being requests to God, like 'Please keep me safe today,' or 'Please let so-n-so feel better,' or 'Please let me be on time for class today.

Thank You being thanks for what God has done. 'Thank you for today,' 'Thank you for this food,' 'Thank you for providing and protecting...'

You Are meaning praise to God, like 'You are so good God - you are holy, you are the King, you are my lord, and I love you.'

I Am being confession, like 'I am a liar, lord - please forgive me.' 'I am so sorry for rebelling and not being obedient here and here, etc.'

The thing with all these, though, is they are crucial to a prayer life. All four of those things are great things that we are supposed to pray about. But then I started thinking about what Whitney said - about opening up to God.

I'm reminded that God calls us his children, and we call Him 'Father.' I imagine that when I become a father someday, I hope that my dearly beloved children will want a relationship with me because I want one with them. I hope they talk to me often, because I love them... but I hope they talk to me like their father, and not just with please/thank you/ you are/ I am. It's a relationship, but... not much of one, is it?

So last night, I decided that I was going to try praying at least once without using the PTYYAIM format. At first, it was very awkward. I felt whiny and childish, just talking to God - treating him like a father, I guess, was new to me. I felt that some things I'd tell him about were so pointless and petty. Then, I was stricken with a thought.

It was almost like God said to me 'I love and died for your heart, Matt. If it matters to your heart, it matters to me.'

At that moment, I was just kind of surprised and in awe. I really opened up to God. Told him everything. I even cried a bit. I laughed a bit. It was like no prayer I'd ever said before, ever. And I was just being open with the God who knew it all anyway. Wow.

So, my point of this blog is this - try being open with God. Talk to him like a Father - a Father who loves you enough to listen, to guide, to say 'I love you, son,' or 'I love you, daughter.' A Father who is always there, even when you can't sleep in the wee hours of the morning, or when you feel alone and deserted by everyone else. "Oh, how I would treat you like my own children.." the Bible says in Jeremiah. We can trust Him. We can talk to him - really talk to him. He loves us enough to listen.

It seems so obvious too, doesn't it? Most revelations or 'wake up moments' we get as Christians usually are. It just took some wise words of a close friend to get the idea into my head. :)

So try being open with God today. He's listening. :)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7)

I am an After-Thought

Let me begin with this question.

Have you ever felt like an after-thought?

Jason finds out there's an outing planned by his closest friends and they invite him at the last minute... or not at all. Laura feels left out when her parents are discussing the success of her older brother. David wonders if his friends talk to him out of anything other than pity. 'If I just didn't show up one day, would anyone miss me?' he thinks. Megan's closest friends often will leave her behind or not even say hello when they see her.

Have you ever felt like that? Sure you have. Everyone has. I have. Plenty of times.

I have a philosophy. If the Enemy is not attacking a Christian, he has no reason to. If Luke Skywalker and the rebels didn't fight to destroy the Death Star, do you think that Darth Vader would have flown his own personal TIE fighter out into battle? If Sauron didn't believe Frodo had any chance at making it up to Mt. Doom, would he have sent hoards of orcs after them? If Lord Voldemort didn't think Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, was any threat to him, would he have devoted his strength and ability to killing a mere teenager?

As a Christian, we have an Enemy, too, don't we? The bible calls him a 'deceiver.' In fact, his first assault on attempting to rip humanity from the arms of God was to get them... us, essentially... to believe his lie.

What lie is he trying to feed you? I think I've figured out mine.

'You are an after-thought.'

I think the one thing that can destroy my confidence... that can isolate me from the people I love... that can singe my heart to ash is thinking and feeling 'I am an after-thought.' And I feel that quite often, coming from the people I love the most, no less.

It's a very lonely thing - the feeling that you're not important enough to matter, or that your closest friends or your own family acknowledge you only out of pity or so they don't look completely rude. It's led to many tears, many days where I just don't want to get out of bed... it's even led to me going to the doctor and having him put me on antidepressant medication... but they haven't helped at all. What is wrong with me?

Am I really so unlikable that even the people I thought I was closest to or the people I love the most scoff in disgust at the thought of me? That they hear me speak and look away? They run off and leave me behind, they plan family dinners without me, or they just plain act like they don't care at all? What have I done to offend them - Am I really so wretched?

This is an attack on my own heart if I've ever seen one... and I've seen plenty.

The thought of being an after-thought was plaguing my mind the other night and, I don't know how, but I began a text message conversation with someone I've probably only shook hands with once, but have Facebooked and had phone conversations with for a while now. He's a new friend that came about from both of us having a mutual friend - anyway, we were texting, and he ended up being a major encouragement to me.

I forgot how it came up, but I think I asked him just what I'm writing about right now. 'Have you ever felt like an after-thought? Like, even to the people you love the most?' His answer was absolutely a God-send; just what I needed to hear, even if it was something I already knew (which these things often are).

"...If we can wrap our minds around this, we'll never be the same. To your Savior, you are never an after-thought. You are His only thought!" (Zach R.)

Wow, huh? It's true, though. Even though I knew this already, it feels very important to have someone tell you this, personally. The very idea that there is actually someone - the God of the universe - doesn't even look at me as just a part of the human race, but as an individual; as someone who He has plans for, as someone He's proud of... someone He died for JUST so that He could be with... me? That is an incredible truth.

That's not just feel-good Christian talk, either. We find it all throughout the Bible, but I think it's summed up best in the most popular Bible verse of all. John 3:16.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

A more heart-felt translation might put it this way.

"God loved you, as an individual, so much, He stepped down out of His own Kingdom to die for you - to pay your debt - because he loved you so much. Because He has done so, He's given you the opportunity to live forever, and perish not."

John Eldredge says this in his breath-taking book, 'Waking the Dead.'

"We rebelled, and the penalty for our rebellion was death. To lose [you] was too great a pain for God to bear, and so he took it upon himself to rescue [you]." -John Eldredge

I think when we think of Jesus coming to save the world, we think about Jesus coming to save everyone rather than Jesus coming to save EVERY ONE. Notice the space. Every individual, not just humanity as a collective. He came to ransom and rescue you, dear reader. He came to rescue you, specifically. Think about that for a moment. He came to rescue you, as an individual.

Which reminds me that... He came to rescue me. He came to rescue Matt Walker.

I am no after-thought to the person who matters most. I am adored by Jesus Christ. So much so, that being nailed to a beam of wood, hanging for hours with broken bones as a crown of thorns lodged into his skull causes him to die a slow and painful death... was less painful than the very thought of being apart... from me. Matt Walker. For God so loved Matt Walker...

Even though I know my friends love me, even though I know my family loves me, even if they didn't... the fact of the matter is that nothing I could ever do can separate me from God's love. The remarkable thing about that love - the thing that proves I am no after-thought - is that God chose me, like he chose you. It wasn't a collective salvation effort. He looked at me, he looked at you, and there was not a doubt in His mind: '[Insert Name Here] is worth it, to me.' That is an incredibly encouraging thought.

Next time you struggle with the idea of being an after-thought, or even less than that... remember that, quite simply, you are not. You're more than just a sinner saved by grace. You're more than a Christian, and you're more than a number on some divine Christian tally list. You are an heir to a Kingdom because the almighty Creator and Ruler of existence said 'You know, I love that guy/girl so much, that I'm going to have them do big things.' You are loved.

I am loved.

Thanks for reading.

Harry Potter and Jesus - Connecting the Dots

Warning: this blog post contains spoilers for Harry Potter, Lost, Narnia, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Saw, and Lord of the Rings. You've been warned!

This past month at my church, we've been doing a series called Dot 2 Dot - "Connecting the Dots to see the Big Picture." The whole idea behind it all is how God can use seemingly insignificant, tiny things and people as a part of his big picture, working them all together for the story He's trying to tell.

I have loved this series because of that very idea - the tiny, seemingly unimportant things actually being very significant when all is revealed in the end. Don't you love that, too? I think most people, Christian or not, love that aspect of stories, books, movies, television, etc.

How did 'Lost' remain on air for six seasons? After plot twist after plot twist; after turn after turn; after revelation after revelation, we find out little details we learned early on were significant after all. We see the identity of the skeletons in the cave revealed, we find out what the island is, and we find out that Jack Shepherd and the Oceanic Six have a crucial role to play.

How did JK Rowling get professors of literature to read a Scholastic Childern's novel series? After seven whole books in the Harry Potter series, we see that, thousands of pages prior, we learned the secret (knew all along) to the defeat Voldemort, who up until now sent fear to those who dare speak his name. We see that a friend-turned-foe-but-not-really was actually fighting for righteousness all along. We see the secrets of the Hocruxes revealed, and we see that not only Harry, but all his friends and allies had crucial roles to play.

We see it in Narnia, we the Pevensie children stumble into a brand new world - four seemingly unimportant orphans who were to become kings and queens of the realm. We see it in Lord of the Rings' Middle Earth, where Aragorn, a seemingly unimportant and mysterious ranger of the forests and plains surrounding the Shire, is actually revealed to be the heir to the throne of Gondor. Heck, we even see it in the popular horror franchise, 'Saw! (mature content warning on that link)' Despite being overly gruesome, horrifically grotesque, and atrociously vulgar, we see a complex tapestry of brilliant story and plot twists take shape in a world where people hide in fear from evil. It is revealed who his accomplices were. It's revealed who he was working with, and who has carried on his work after his death. It's revealed that a detective who had been working to find the killer since the beginning actually has a crucial role to play. (Just take my word for it... you probably shouldn't see it. ;) )

We see it all around; we see see little dots being connecting in ways we'd never see coming. Why do we love it so much when a tiny forgotten detail turns up to be something important?

Because we long to be that dot.

We all have probably hear Romans 8:28 before. "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Or, as 'The Message' says it, "...we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Every detail... every seemingly significant detail... every small, little thing... can and will be working into God's story for good, for those who love him. Wow, huh?

Let's look at someone who was seemingly insignificant, but who turned out to save the world from Sin, set captives free, justify the world, and bring about the end of the reign of evil on Earth. Jesus Christ.

In the dead of night, on a chilly night, a virgin girl, not even married yet, but engaged, gave birth to a child. Despite that being a physical impossibility, it happened, quietly, in a barn of all places. A single angel from heaven informed this girl, Mary, who this miracle child would be, and what she should name him. She followed the angel's instruction, and named the little newborn 'Jesus.'

Jesus was raised as a carpenter. A rugged job for the son (or step-son, as it were) of the rugged man who was Mary's husband, Joseph. Carpenters weren't exactly taught the fullness of Jewish law like other, more 'important' children of religious leaders or what-have-you, but Jesus was meek and humble before starting his ministry.

But, eventually, start it he did. And it was a shock to the world.

Some of the things he said, some of the things he taught, the people he criticized, the people he healed, the people he saved from the grave itself spread like wildfire across the area, and later on, literally, across the Earth. Governments feared him. Religious leaders abhorred him. People loved him, but there were some who wanted him dead.

And in the end, they killed him. Or so they had thought.

Which leads us to the plot twist: the Resurrection. The savior is dead, and in his grave. His people grieve as evil sweeps across the land. In JK Rowling's final book in the Harry Potter series, we see Voldemort, the Dark Lord, invoke the dreaded Unforgivable Killing curse, the Avada Kedavra, and kill Harry Potter, as he stands before him, preparing to die without a fight. Then, he, Voldemort, is seen gloating over the body of Harry Potter, who was supposed to be 'The Chosen One;' the one who would save the Wizarding World from the evil one. We see Voldemort displaying the limp body of Harry to his friends and allies, who all recoil in horror as they see his body, before them, dead. He was not dead, though; no, not at all.

When all hope seemed lost, when the end seemed near, when all was about to end, Harry sheds his Invisibility Cloak (a veil or sorts), and is standing, fully alive and standing before the Dark Lord. His allies cheer - 'HE'S ALIVE!' they scream.

Wand in hand, standing in the radiant, shimmering sun rising over Hogwarts castle, it's down to Harry and Voldemort - the climax has arrived.

Maybe it's just the little boy in me, but I love 'Final Showdowns.' Sure, epic wars and big battle scenes are awesome, but there's something about two individuals, locked in combat, that seems to awaken to little warrior in me; the little boy that used to own the plastic lightsaber, the foam sword, and the Nerf gun.

We see Luke engage in lightsaber combat with Vader. We see Frodo and Gollum struggle on the teetering ledge over the fires of Mt. Doom. We see Jack Shepherd and The Man in Black, disguised as John Locke, duke it out on a mountaintop on The Island as a storm wreaks havoc around them. We see King Peter face King Miraz and Aslan, the White Witch. We see Inigo Montoya duel Count Rugen, the man who killed his father. And, as I was talking about a moment ago, we see Harry face Voldemort.

Harry and Voldemort face each other. Voldemort, though still boasting his foolish pride, is actually quaking in fear because he realizes this could very well be the end. With one flick of his wand, he casts, once again, the Avada Kedavra, the Killing Curse, at Harry.

Harry, though, cannot be conquered.

With a flick of his own wand, he casts the Disarming Charm at his enemy, which does more than makes him loose drop with wand. It disarms him for good. The evil one is dead. Hogwarts celebrates their freedom and victory.

Harry Potter. The orphan who started in book one as the little 11 year old boy who lived in a closet under a staircase with his horrible Aunt and Uncle. A person probably can't feel more insignificant than that, can they? Harry was seemingly unimportant, but that's been a recurring word here in this blog post, hasn't it? 'Seemingly.'

He discovers that that little scar on his forehead - that little mark, that little dot - plays a crucial role to the story he's found himself in. He discovers that a prophecy has been made on his behalf, and that he has an absolutely crucial role to play in the destruction of the Evil One and the saving of the world from Death (Eaters...).

I think a lot of us feel like Harry Potter sometimes. Nothing we do could possibly matter. Serving in this small capacity couldn't possibly mean anything in the 'big picture.' Allowing God to use me in this tiny way can't be worth anything.

Oh, but it can!

Never believe you are insignificant. As Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, God has plans for you. BIG plans. GREAT plans. For Hope, and a 'good future,' the NCV tells us. " I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." The Message says.

God KNOWS what he's doing! It's up to Him to connect the dots, and he will. It's up to you to remain faithful, to keep your heart, mind, eyes, and ears open to God, so that he can connect your dot to the right dot it needs to be connected to. Trust him - He knows what He's doing.

Thanks for reading!

Mischief Managed,

-Matt

Hope

The final days of Summer are upon us. The days are hotter than ever here in the south, but, as television commercials and signs hanging from the ceilings of our favorite department stores will remind us, it is coming to an end. People of all ages are preparing to return to school. The once young and naive children of parents are growing up and moving out. Relationships are beginning and ending inexplicably. Everything has that 'end of Summer' feeling it it... which is never a happy feeling.

I've realized that a lot of people I know have had these 'blues,' but it seems so inappropriate to call them that; no, it is inappropriate to call them that. Several good friends of mine seem to be, quite simply, loosing heart. I have friends who feel trapped where they are right now - desiring, deeply, to leave the home they know, and go to bigger and better things. I have friends who are just the opposite - after being uprooted from the home they loved, they're in a completely new world, feeling alone, friendless, and like they don't yet belong where they are. I have friends whose minds are racked with thoughts of their beloved, and those who have been hurt by people in the same position. I have friends who feel like they cannot trust their parents. I have friends who feel like they are alone. I have friends who have no idea where they're going on the road we call life, and I have friends who simply have become so disconnected with their own hearts that every day that passes is miserable; they're just working for the end.

It breaks my heart to see, not just my friends but, anyone like this. I'm here, to tell you, if only in text-form, on an unpopular internet blog, that this is not all there is.

"You've been hiding in the bedroom, hoping this isn't how the story has to go. It's not the way it goes. It's your book now. You are Golden." says Switchfoot. Like I said in a few posts back, you are a masterpiece created by the Almighty Himself. With that knowledge... what kind of story do you think God is telling through you? Have you ever thought about that?

"Life, you'll notice, is a story.

Life doesn't come to us like a math problem. It comes to us the way that a story does, scene by scene. You wake up. What will happen next? You don't get to know-you have to enter in, take the journey as it comes. The sun might be shining. There might be a tornado outside. Your friends might call and invite you to go sailing. You might lose your job.

Life unfolds like a drama. Doesn't it? Each day has a beginning and an end. There are all sorts of characters, all sorts of settings. A year goes by like a chapter from a novel. Sometimes it seems like a tragedy. Sometimes like a comedy. Most of it feels like a soap opera. Whatever happens, it's a story through and through.

If life is a story, what is the plot? What is your role to play? It would be good to know that, wouldn't it? What is this all about?

If there is meaning to this life, then why do our days seem so random? What is this drama we've been dropped into the middle of? If there is a God, what sort of story is he telling here? At some point we begin to wonder if Macbeth wasn't right after all: Is life a tale "told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"?

No wonder we keep losing heart.

We find ourselves in the middle of a story that is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful, often a confusing mixture of both, and we haven't a clue how to make sense of it all. It's like we're holding in our hands some pages torn out of a book. These pages are the days of our lives. Fragments of a story. They seem important, or at least we long to know they are, but what does it all mean? If only we could find the book that contains the rest of the story." - John Eldredge, 'Epic.'

If there's one thing I've learned from reading authors like Eldredge, listening to speakers like Perry Noble and Francis Chan, and spending time with God himself, there is one thing that has become abundantly clear: we are in a story. And stories have endings, don't they? Does that scare you? Does the idea that your story has an ending intimidate you?

It shouldn't. You know why? Because it's a happy ending. It's a fairytale ending.

"And they lived happily ever after," the Creative Arts Pastor at my church, Jerry Davison, begins, "Probably the most beautiful and haunting words in the English language. Don't roll your eyes! "Cheesy. There's no such thing as happy endings - that's not real life." Put that aside for a second, and let this be true for a minute. 'They lived happily ever after.'"

When we join the family of God, when we're adopted as a son or daughter to the Father God, we change not only the entire course of our life, but we change the ending to our stories. "This fallen world doesn't hold [our] interests; doesn't hold [our] souls." Switchfoot says. Thats because this world is not our home anymore. We try and get comfortable in one place, we expect we'll feel better in another place, in a new town, a new school, a new year... we expect that we will be ultimately happy here, that we can find home here, but we know, in our hearts, there are greater things. Don't we?

"I belong somewhere past the setting sun," Jon Foreman sings. "Just a few more weary days and then..." "I'm going home, to the place where I belong." Says Jars of Clay and Daughtry. "The earth spins, and the moon goes around, green comes up from the frozen ground, and everything will be made new again." "Now I've found it... This is Home.... Where the streets have no name, all my tears be washed away.

What do all these songs mean? There is hope. There is hope in your life. There is hope in God. There is hope in your happy ending. There's something to look forward to.

Life is like a vacation. There is a lot of fun to be had. There are a lot of new people to meet. There are things to do, places to go, a whole world to experience. But sooner or later, we get this longing in our heart for home. I feel, right now, it is my job to tell whoever is reading this that if your hope is in people, in things, in this world, you will be let down. But if your hope is in God... you will not be forsaken. You will not be forgotten. "Even if my own Father and Mother forsake me, you will hold me close," Psalm 27:10 says. "Who shall I fear?" the Psalmist also says, "if the Lord is with me?"

There is hope. There will always be hope.

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine...
-Matt

Beauty, Romance, Love, and Significance

Wow, tonight was one of those night where God has just been moving in my heart in some big ways, teaching me some simple things that hold heavy meaning. It was 2:30 AM, and I was out relaxing in our hot tub (which is an AWESOME thing to have - we got it cheap, too!) looking up at the full moon shining onto the puffy white clouds surrounding it, just the extravagant sky God had painted for me to see, and it was just a lovely time. This was right after my quiet time, too, so God was already working heavy on my heart, and just seeing the sheer scope of the beauty one stretch of sky could have made me start thinking more and more about our Father God, and these four words hit me, in this order: Beauty, Romance, Love, and Significance.

Beauty. There is so much beauty in this world, but if we go too fast, and, literally, don't take time to stop and smell the flowers, we can miss it. Take a look at the flowers, trees, plants - even weeds! - and you can see just the raw beauty and creativity of God. The Bible says that God crowned US, human beings, with his 'Glory and Honor. [He] gave [us] charge over everything [He] has made; putting all things under [our] authority.' (Psalm 8:5b-6) In Hebrews, it goes on to say "Now, when it says 'all things,' it means nothing is left out.' (2:8b). All things! Created for US to oversee, to be over, to enjoy and to live in. Every beautiful thing of nature, every waterfall, flower, tree, mountain, planet, galaxy - all made for us, by the One who loves us dearly.

But beauty doesn't stop there. There is beauty in God's most precious creation - us! There is beauty in every child. I spent years in children's ministry, and as I think about what I know children are capable of knowing and doing, it blows my mind and rattles my heart. There's beauty in their innocence, in their smiles, in their endless happiness and energy, there's beauty in their giving, loving hearts, and there's beauty in the futures!

There's beauty in every woman. Graceful, elegant, rapturous beauty; with wisdom grounded in their hearts, and love for all things. Women personify perfectly God's love, mercy, and nurturing characteristics, and He has made them beautiful.

There's beauty in every man, too! Valiant, heroic leaders willing to fight for what they believe in. With strength, wisdom, vigor, men have in them the beauty of leadership, of God's fathering and teaching characteristics, and the beauty of love.

Beauty is all around us, and God desires us to take notice of it, and especially enjoy it! Which leads me to my next point...

Romance. To pursue, enjoy, and grasp the beauty in this world, in a lover, or God himself is really a biblical definition of 'romance.' The fully delve into the beauty God has offered us freely, simply for our enjoyment, is a beautiful thing. The intimacy God, the almighty king of EXISTENCE offers ME a deep, personal relationship with him, free of charge. I'll touch on this more in a moment.

But not only did he freely offer me salvation, but he's given me - us - this wonderful, romantic, awesome place we call 'earth' to live in. You see in the locked eyes of every couple. You see it in the beauty the rain joining the swaying pedals of a flower. You see it in the sacrifice Jesus gave us. That is romance in it's purest, holiest form.

Love. It wasn't even that I loved God or that I was a Christian he did all of that for me; the Bible makes it perfectly clear 'While I was still a sinner, Christ died for ME.' (Romans 5:8). He loved me enough to initiate the relationship with me - with US! - that while I was still his enemy, he loved me more than I can still fathom. That type of love - love that God IS (1 John 4:8) shakes me to my care when I see the beauty and romance in all of creation. I could write volumes on the love of God - it's so massive and mind-boggling. Love is that not only did God create us, not only did he give us an amazing world, not only did he let us live after sinning against him, not only did he die and conquer death itself on out behalf, but he WANTS US to be in a LOVING relationship with him. He DESIRES us. Which brings me to the last point.

Significance. I was reading in 1 Samuel tonight, I read these words that God seemed to speak to me, affirming something he's been trying to get across to me for a while now.

"Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the LORD your God, secure in his treasure pouch." (1 Samuel 25:29)

See that at the end? Treasure pouch. Tell me: what does one put in a treasure pouch? Their treasure. Their valuables. The things they love above all things. If, metaphorically speaking, that's where God holds us, then holy guacamole, we are significant, aren't we? To think that not only are we loved, but we're treasured by God is something that makes me want to cry! When we think of the love God has for us, I think sometimes, because of the overuse of the word 'love' in our culture, we don't really grasp it. But using words like 'treasured' puts all that weight back in, doesn't it?

I have been struggling with the deal of my significance. Christians everywhere go around talking about how they're 'just a sinner saved' or how they're 'the wretch the song Amazing Grace talks about,' but You and I are SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

John Eldredge says that (paraphrased) "To God, the idea of being separated from us for eternity was too much to bear. So, when faced with his holy decision, he found it would be LESS PAINFUL to give his son - to kill himself, in the flesh - than to be apart from us." Wow. Have you ever realized just how special and significant you are? God has created the beauty, the ability to become intimate with it and God, and he's given salvation... all for you? Not a collective you, but YOU as an individual. YOU as in [insert name here.] YOU as YOU were created to be. You are no accident. Once you've given your heart to the Lord, you are no longer a wretch, and you are no longer a slave to sin. 'You are GOLDEN,' as songwriter Jon Foreman (Switchfoot) says. How awesome is that!?

So, as I write this extremely long blog post, I hope you find encouragement and truth in these words I've written in the past half hour. I know that these things God has taught me are extraordinary things the Enemy would just love to destroy and snatch away whenever he can get his grubby little hands on it, but I am going to fight for these truths. It's when we're discovering significant things and drawing ever closer to God that Satan tries his hardest to pull us back away. Don't let him have you! Show him who's boss; show him who's team you're fighting for. It's team that will not lose. ;)

Thanks for reading! And hey - if you were encouraged at all by this blog post, let me know in the comments, please. It would be a major encouragement to me, myself, and I get to see what you guys think of the blogging here.

Have a great night!

Love & War - Part Two - It Is Worth It

Marriage is worth it.

Wow, isn't that such an odd thing to hear nowadays? How many people on television, in movies, on the internet can say such a bold thing? 'Marriage is worth it.' Worth what, though?

As I'm making my way through 'Love & War,' which was given to me free by the awesome people at Ransomed Heart Ministries, I'm really trying to keep an open mind on relationships, dating, and eventually, marriage. I'm not ready for anything like that yet, and that was made even more obvious by the introduction to this book - even before you got the the first chapter, it was made incredibly clear that it's a fight. It's a battle, and the one thing I think I understood most from reading the introduction was that I have to get my crap together before I want to pursue anything like a relationship with a girl.

John says to a man he's performing a wedding ceremony for as he's at the altar,

"You are about to give your life away. You are stepping up, you are volunteering for the toughest assignment a man will ever be given: to offer your heart and your strength to [woman], time and time and time again, for the rest of your days."

Wow. After reading that, it makes me believe that eloping - getting married in the spur of the moment - is an extremely foolish thing. I don't think I've ever thought of myself in the context of a marriage - a family. Do I have the heart and strength needed to support a woman I love? She'll need that from me. Can I give it to her?

"My words to you today are: it can be done. And it is worth it. To discover that because of your strength (for the guys and men reading) and your sacrifice, [woman] can become the woman she was meant to be - that, somehow, your fierce love can free her heart and release her beauty - that is whatever this may cost to you."

Free her heart. Release her beauty. Eldredge wasn't lying when he said that we live in a 'mythic' world. Those are some significant, epic words right there. That I am to provide my strength and fierce love to free and release her. Like the knights of the stores I used to read as a kid (heck - I still enjoy them). A beautiful, fair princess trapped in a tower, all alone, waiting for someone to come along and rescue her. Do I have the strength and the fierce love to release her - set her free?

No, not yet I don't.

That's why I'm feeling so blessed to have received this book. It's showing me, NOW, before I'm really even thinking about it, I need to be preparing myself for marriage, in respect to I need to 'clean up my junk,' as Perry Noble puts it. I cannot possibly fully offer my strength and love to a woman when I fill my life with junk, and let pointless (or worse... sinful) things clutter my heart.

Today, Jerry Davison, the Creative Arts Pastor at my church, was praying over the marriages in our church and our community (as part of a special day of prayer - you can read about it here), and he said one thing that jumped out at me... but only now, after reading this introduction to 'Love & War.' He prayed for those of us who weren't married yet, and not even necessarily looking yet. Isn't that something? Praying for the future marriages of people - of myself. That's something certainly I've never really done before, except maybe once or twice.

Praying for the woman, someday, I'll fall in love with, and offer my strength to. I may not even know her yet, but my prayer is that she is praying for ME (even if she doesn't know me yet), and that she is praying for the relationship she could/will have someday. That's a very exciting, very scary, very thrilling, very nerve-rattling thought.

Can I do it, though? Am I strong enough? I know I'm not ready now, but will I ever be? Really? Me, the one who can fail at the slightest temptation? The one who was never really taught how to be a Christan, or the one who has never really even had a girlfriend, outside of little elementary school crushes? Can I do this?

I don't know how many single guys read my blog, but this is one thing that John concludes the introduction chapter with:

"By the grace of God, you can do this. You have what it takes."

By the grace of God, I can do this. Maybe not now, but after preparation, I will be ready. Right now, I need to ready my heart for the... adventure that is marriage. I need to allow God to heal my heart, clean my heart, and prepare my heart. I have what it takes.

Wow, huh? I'm not even in Chapter One yet!! This is going to be an amazing study. Keep coming back for more blogging, thoughts, and fun from your's truly, Matt Walker.

A wife of noble character, who can find? She is more valuable than rubies... (Proverbs 31:10)