Final Fantasy and Jesus

I know that I do a lot of the "____ and Jesus" blog posts, where I take some popular movie or book or video game and begin to find some spiritual significance in it or some way for it relate it to the Bible. I've done Harry Potter, Kingdom Hearts, Lord of the Rings, and even Mario Kart. The title of this one is 'Final Fantasy and Jesus.'

Now, I could go through the story and talk about the spiritual allegory and Christian significance (which there is quite a bit), but today, I'm going to be talking directly about the game itself. As in, the actual cartridge the game is on. Let me explain.

I have a game for the portable Nintendo game system, the Nintendo DS, called, like the title of this blog, is 'Final Fantasy III.' It's, you know, one of those fantasy games boys like with magic and swords and adventure, monsters, pirates, duels, and all that. Since it's on the Nintendo DS, and is portable, I can literally play it anywhere I want.

Well, this past Saturday night, I was packing for a four-day vacation to Savannah, Georgia. Savannah is an amazing place that has it all - an amazing historical city, a wonderful beach, lots of neat places, and all that. It's a five-hour drive from here to there, and luckily, I didn't have to drive. I was going with my mom and dad, and dad was driving, so I got to hang out in the back seat and just enjoy the scenery.

So, I wanted to bring my Nintendo DS and Final Fantasy III - one of the best games I own for the system. So, while I was packing, I began looking for it.

And looking for it.

And looking for it.

AND LOOKING FOR IT.

For hours, literally HOURS, I was looking for it. I ended up gutting both of my rooms, cleaning out both of my closets, and deep cleaning every corner of every place I've been in the past three month trying to find this video game. I spent all afternoon and well into the night looking for that game. At about 1:30 am, after having looking from about 2pm that afternoon (almost 12 hours), I had not found it. I was about to go crazy.

So, I decided to pray about it. Normally, I do not like to pray about petty things like that. Like, 'Lord, please let me get to my movie on time' or 'God, please don't let the internet die - I have things to do!' I never like to pray like that, because I don't find it very respectful to the God of Creation to treat him like a vending machine. But I was pretty desperate. I was on the last stretch of my sanity. All for... a video game. (That I didn't even pay for - it was a gift.)

So, I prayed. I said, 'God, please... I'm at my wits end. I just want to enjoy the car ride down to Savannah tomorrow. Please let me find this game.' So, after that, I began looking again, knowing God would come through for me.

He didn't.

At least, not in the way I expected.

It was about 2am when I gave up the search. I plopped down on my bed thinking of the wasted day of cleaning and searching and hunting for that blasted game. And I even prayed to God, who didn't even help me! I wasn't really angry, just kind of upset.

Then, I think I heard God tell me something. Not audibly, of course, nor did some magic cloud fill my room, nor did I begin speaking gibberish and needed people to interpret my 'prayer language.' Sometimes, we get thoughts that feel so powerful that we know we can't come up with on our own, and I believe these to be actual words from God. He spoke to me in that moment.

"If only you'd look for me like you did that video game."

My response, of course, was. "But I do look for you, Lord. I spend time with you everyday."

"In a ritualistic kind of way - not always because you enjoy it. Image if you lost your Bible. How long would you spend looking for that?"

Ouch. He was right (as He often... er... always is). I had spent so much time and energy looking for, pursuing, something that mattered way too much to me. I spent HALF of a 24-hour day looking for... a video game! It made me wonder... what other things do I spend far too much energy or time on pursuing? I wouldn't say that video games are taking away my time with God (though I know some people who do actually have that problem), but I was thinking...

What things in my life am I pursuing harder that God?

Friendships? Sometimes, when I have a scuff with a friend (happening a lot lately), or just wanted to connect on a fellowship-like level with people, that I put a lot of energy and time into pursuing those relationships.

School? I spent $1000 and 360 hours of my life in the past six months pursuing, chasing, a degree in an undeclared major. I put so much energy and time and effort into making sure that I got that all-powerful 'A' on my grades.

My hobbies/career? I spend a lot of time watching movies, playing games (like I mentioned), making movies, writing and reading... and I spend a lot of time learning and practicing and enjoying things like that. Time. Lots of time.

Are any of those things bad? No! NONE of those things are bad. Friends, school, a career, hobbies - all of those things are good and are great gifts from God... but the question remains.

What are we chasing, pursuing, looking for... more than God? Are we willing to spend half a day looking HARD for a DS game... when we're reluctant to spend 30 minutes reading our Bible? Are we willing to spend three or four of our paychecks on a new LED television... when we're reluctant to tithe a tiny 10% at church? Do we talk on our cell phones or Skype or AIM... more than we talk to God?

Ask God. Ask Him, "God - is there something in my life that is taking the place of you?" If that's not the case, ask Him, like I did, "God, what can I do to pursue you more... more completely? More often? More thoroughly?" It's a dangerous prayer to pray, and pretty uncomfortable when He... actually answers. Then, we don't have any excuses.

So, try it. Ask God. He wants you to be closer to Him, but even more so, He WANTS you to WANT to be closer to Him! His word says...

"The Lord is close to ALL who call on Him; yes - to ALL who call on Him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)

He will come closer to those who actually call on Him - who WANT him to come closer, and those who abide in Truth - God's word.

So, ask Him today. Ask Him how you can become closer to Him.

By the way, I never found that game. I ended up learning a valuable lesson and sleeping all the way down there anyway, hah.

Thanks for Reading!
-Matt

Beauty, Romance, Love, and Significance

Wow, tonight was one of those night where God has just been moving in my heart in some big ways, teaching me some simple things that hold heavy meaning. It was 2:30 AM, and I was out relaxing in our hot tub (which is an AWESOME thing to have - we got it cheap, too!) looking up at the full moon shining onto the puffy white clouds surrounding it, just the extravagant sky God had painted for me to see, and it was just a lovely time. This was right after my quiet time, too, so God was already working heavy on my heart, and just seeing the sheer scope of the beauty one stretch of sky could have made me start thinking more and more about our Father God, and these four words hit me, in this order: Beauty, Romance, Love, and Significance.

Beauty. There is so much beauty in this world, but if we go too fast, and, literally, don't take time to stop and smell the flowers, we can miss it. Take a look at the flowers, trees, plants - even weeds! - and you can see just the raw beauty and creativity of God. The Bible says that God crowned US, human beings, with his 'Glory and Honor. [He] gave [us] charge over everything [He] has made; putting all things under [our] authority.' (Psalm 8:5b-6) In Hebrews, it goes on to say "Now, when it says 'all things,' it means nothing is left out.' (2:8b). All things! Created for US to oversee, to be over, to enjoy and to live in. Every beautiful thing of nature, every waterfall, flower, tree, mountain, planet, galaxy - all made for us, by the One who loves us dearly.

But beauty doesn't stop there. There is beauty in God's most precious creation - us! There is beauty in every child. I spent years in children's ministry, and as I think about what I know children are capable of knowing and doing, it blows my mind and rattles my heart. There's beauty in their innocence, in their smiles, in their endless happiness and energy, there's beauty in their giving, loving hearts, and there's beauty in the futures!

There's beauty in every woman. Graceful, elegant, rapturous beauty; with wisdom grounded in their hearts, and love for all things. Women personify perfectly God's love, mercy, and nurturing characteristics, and He has made them beautiful.

There's beauty in every man, too! Valiant, heroic leaders willing to fight for what they believe in. With strength, wisdom, vigor, men have in them the beauty of leadership, of God's fathering and teaching characteristics, and the beauty of love.

Beauty is all around us, and God desires us to take notice of it, and especially enjoy it! Which leads me to my next point...

Romance. To pursue, enjoy, and grasp the beauty in this world, in a lover, or God himself is really a biblical definition of 'romance.' The fully delve into the beauty God has offered us freely, simply for our enjoyment, is a beautiful thing. The intimacy God, the almighty king of EXISTENCE offers ME a deep, personal relationship with him, free of charge. I'll touch on this more in a moment.

But not only did he freely offer me salvation, but he's given me - us - this wonderful, romantic, awesome place we call 'earth' to live in. You see in the locked eyes of every couple. You see it in the beauty the rain joining the swaying pedals of a flower. You see it in the sacrifice Jesus gave us. That is romance in it's purest, holiest form.

Love. It wasn't even that I loved God or that I was a Christian he did all of that for me; the Bible makes it perfectly clear 'While I was still a sinner, Christ died for ME.' (Romans 5:8). He loved me enough to initiate the relationship with me - with US! - that while I was still his enemy, he loved me more than I can still fathom. That type of love - love that God IS (1 John 4:8) shakes me to my care when I see the beauty and romance in all of creation. I could write volumes on the love of God - it's so massive and mind-boggling. Love is that not only did God create us, not only did he give us an amazing world, not only did he let us live after sinning against him, not only did he die and conquer death itself on out behalf, but he WANTS US to be in a LOVING relationship with him. He DESIRES us. Which brings me to the last point.

Significance. I was reading in 1 Samuel tonight, I read these words that God seemed to speak to me, affirming something he's been trying to get across to me for a while now.

"Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the LORD your God, secure in his treasure pouch." (1 Samuel 25:29)

See that at the end? Treasure pouch. Tell me: what does one put in a treasure pouch? Their treasure. Their valuables. The things they love above all things. If, metaphorically speaking, that's where God holds us, then holy guacamole, we are significant, aren't we? To think that not only are we loved, but we're treasured by God is something that makes me want to cry! When we think of the love God has for us, I think sometimes, because of the overuse of the word 'love' in our culture, we don't really grasp it. But using words like 'treasured' puts all that weight back in, doesn't it?

I have been struggling with the deal of my significance. Christians everywhere go around talking about how they're 'just a sinner saved' or how they're 'the wretch the song Amazing Grace talks about,' but You and I are SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

John Eldredge says that (paraphrased) "To God, the idea of being separated from us for eternity was too much to bear. So, when faced with his holy decision, he found it would be LESS PAINFUL to give his son - to kill himself, in the flesh - than to be apart from us." Wow. Have you ever realized just how special and significant you are? God has created the beauty, the ability to become intimate with it and God, and he's given salvation... all for you? Not a collective you, but YOU as an individual. YOU as in [insert name here.] YOU as YOU were created to be. You are no accident. Once you've given your heart to the Lord, you are no longer a wretch, and you are no longer a slave to sin. 'You are GOLDEN,' as songwriter Jon Foreman (Switchfoot) says. How awesome is that!?

So, as I write this extremely long blog post, I hope you find encouragement and truth in these words I've written in the past half hour. I know that these things God has taught me are extraordinary things the Enemy would just love to destroy and snatch away whenever he can get his grubby little hands on it, but I am going to fight for these truths. It's when we're discovering significant things and drawing ever closer to God that Satan tries his hardest to pull us back away. Don't let him have you! Show him who's boss; show him who's team you're fighting for. It's team that will not lose. ;)

Thanks for reading! And hey - if you were encouraged at all by this blog post, let me know in the comments, please. It would be a major encouragement to me, myself, and I get to see what you guys think of the blogging here.

Have a great night!

Worlds Apart

"I am the only one to blame for this.
Somehow it all adds up the same.
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride,
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
with a world I try so hard to leave behind.
To rid myself of all but love;
To give and die..."

I feel like sometimes, I'm so close to God. I feel alive, and I feel vibrant, and I feel like I can conquer the world, and that Jesus Christ can radically change the world through me. Then, other times, I feel like I'm worlds apart from him. I feel dead. Motionless. Defenseless. Not able to life a finger to command the sin in my life. I'm redeemed; I'm saved. But it's still there; ready to strike like a lion; a thief ready to steal my happiness, kill my love, and destroy my life. (John 10:10a)

It's my fault, though. I am the only one to blame for this. Somehow it all adds up the same.

The selfish pride I fly upon says 'I love Jesus, but I try and save myself with my behavior.' But, like Icarus, I collide with the fire, my wings melt, and I begin the long fall back to earth - the world I tried so hard to leave behind.

How can I rid myself of all but love, and give and die?

"To turn away and not become
another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
of a world embracing every heartache..."

Today, at church, Pastor Jerry was talking about The Enemy of ours. What I want to know is why he continues to pursue me after he knows he's lost me? Jerry brought up a passage that I actually read in John Eldredge's 'Waking the Dead,' which is an absolutely amazing book. I remember reading this, too. He says that the enemy fears what I am capable of, so, of course, he's going to do everything in his power to stop me from doing what I can actually do.

I think of it as a secret soldier, sneaking into the King's camp, taking the armor of his knights, and weakening them; taking their swords and dulling them to the point of being ineffective. I feel, sometimes, like that's what the Enemy is trying to do to me.

"All said and done I stand alone
amongst remains of a life I should not own.
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me..."

Why does it take so much for me to believe that God has not only saved me, but is willing to fight for me? This is such an outrageous concept to me; the Death of Jesus - the son of God. I mean, think about it. The death of His one and only son was less painful than the thought of spending eternity apart from me - from you. This is mind blowing and heart melting. Jesus saved me, but the infinite creator of the universe, the King of everything, the Lord of heaven, and the GOD of EXISTENCE loves me enough to practically KILL his own son... just so he could embrace me.

Me, the one who allows all this horrible scum in and out of my life, like I've given it a portion of my heart. Why wouldn't I fully give all that I am to the one who loves me like that?

"Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are,
because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart..."

I think my problem up to this point is I think I've been looking at this battle, this struggle, as a war I'm fighting for God, rather than a war he is fighting for me. I'm going to be really honest; I cannot defeat Satan. He is strong. He is powerful, and he is evil. I cannot defeat him. But God CAN, so I need to allow him to fight for me because, well, you cannot defeat God.

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost.
And wipe away the crimson stains,
And dull the nails that still remain.
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour.
The battle between grace and pride;
I gave up not so long ago.

So steal my heart, and take the pain.
And wash the feet, and cleanse my pride.
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide.
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin-soaked heart and make it yours.
Take my world all apart.
Take it now, take it now.

And serve the ones that I despise.
Speak the words I can't deny.
Watch the world I used to love,
Fall to dust and thrown away.

Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
Take my world apart...

Apart from him, I, we, can do nothing.

"This is the last time I'm starting over with you."

So, is it? Is this the last time I'm starting over? Is this the last time you're starting over? I hope so. I pray that you and I, whoever you are, reader, see the big picture, and see that God is willing to fight for us the battle we cannot possibly win. I love this about the God we serve. His love is infinite.

"Oh, he loves us. Oh, how he loves us. Oh, how he loves us. Oh, how he loves."

'I pray that you ... may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long
and high and deep is the love of Christ.' (Ephesians 3:17-19) That excites me to no end! I'm ready to rely on the Holy Spirit, I'm ready to really allow God into my life, and I'm ready to to live again.

Thanks for reading,
-Matt

- - - - -

'Worlds Apart' by Jars of Clay
'Valley of Tomorrow' by NeedtoBreathe

'How He Loves' by David Crowder

Jerry Davison's blog and John Eldredge's blog located off to the side.

"I Died Today"

A Sermon by Steve Whipple (Link)

I found that message on the church's computer last night, and found myself listening to the whole thing. It was from a series we did about a year ago about the launch of our church's capital campaign called 'The Wild Goose Chase." I love this part of the message:

"I've died so many times in my life, I can't even count how many; it's not even funny how many times I've died. I really have a hard time dying. Every time I do, I struggle with it... What I'm talking about is the sense of dying to myself. The key to dying to myself is not so much that part, but what happens after I die."

Then, he goes on to tell about a High School guy that used to attend 'The Ridge.'

"It's been nearly three years now since we launched [The Church at the Ridge]. God's been doing some amazing things here in three years, and it wasn't too long after we started, there was this High School kid came to one of our services, and I don't even remember what we talked about, but I do remember he came walking out, and he took me by the hand, with tears streaming down his face, and he said "I died today.""

Wow. "I died today." Such a powerful thing to say, and such a hard thing to actually do. I totally understand what my Pastor was saying when he said "I've died so many times in my life, I can't even count how many; it's not even funny how many times I've died. I really have a hard time dying. Every time I do, I struggle with it." That's extremely true with myself - I think every Christian goes through it, too, at some point or another. Dying to ourselves, and pursue with intentionality the Holy Spirit with passion and excitement. We leave ourselves behind, and we are totally passionate about God's plan and his work - a friend of mine once described this as a 'Jesus-High.'

"Then Monday comes," like my Pastor says. Monday and the ordinary come back around, and you're no longer dead to yourself - you're living for yourself again, and are dead to the Holy Spirit. How scary is that, huh? Trusting yourself instead of the one who created, redeemed, and saved your life. I've gone through it many times. Starting over and over again on this spiritual journey that should be a one-time deal.

Starting over. New life. What am I, a cat? Do I have these nine lives I have to go through to get to where I need to be? What does the Bible say?

This is one of my all-time favorite passages in scripture. You can feel the hope and love radiating off of these words as you read them.

¹⁷ This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! ¹⁸ And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. ¹⁹ For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. ²⁰ So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” ²¹ For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

(2 Corninthians 5:17-21 NLT)

'A New Creation!' 'A New Life!' 'COME BACK TO GOD!' What powerful words. There's never been a point in my life, even when I was a kid, that I didn't believe in God. I consider this to be a good thing and a bad thing. It's good because my parents raised me like they should have - teaching me the Bible and who Jesus was, etc. It's bad because it took 14 years for me to see the difference between knowing about Jesus and actually knowing Jesus. In fact, that is what Steve, my Pastor who did the message I linked to at the top, has been talking about in Church.

Besides that, though, my question remains. 'How do I die to myself and stay dead?'

I think this is where I'm heading these next weeks. For a while, I was concerned with what God wants me to do with my life. I discovered, through the counseling of friends, through messages taught by several Pastors, and studying the scriptures that sin, indeed, is a hinderence.

That might seem obvious. I mean, everyone goes around saying that. But what does that really mean? I believe the sin in us is keeping us from God. Not that we're our old sinful creatures, but the sin that lives in us is trying to control us - the Enemy is trying to control us.

He, the Enemy, would love nothing more than to make a bunch of spiritually dead, Christian zombie drones out of all of us - living for ourselves rather than living a life 'fully alive' (as John Eldredge puts it)

I have sin in my life that I just can't seem to shake... and that's my problem. I'm trying to shake it myself, instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to shake it for me. It seems all this time I am allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me when I feel like it. I'm not relying, counting, on the Holy Spirit to move me. I've been looking at Him more like an aid, rather than a 'counselor.' In Summer camp, what does a counselor do? He directs the paths, places, and activities his campers participate in, right? That is what I want to allow the Holy Spirit to do! Direct my paths like it says in the book of Psalms.

"Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow! Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." -Psalm 25:4-5

Pray for me as I pray for the Holy Spirit to be a supremely active part of our lives. Through him, God can do amazing things through us! What an amazing thing.

Thanks for reading!
-Matt