Graduation - Why Does it Matter?

It's that time of year again. Graduation. Where the hard working High-Schoolers who started Kindergarten circa 1998 are finishing up their schooling career and making that 'walk' in that silly robe, to get a piece of paper typed up on Microsoft Word in Blackletter BT font with a fancy golden sticker that says 'I spent the last thirteen years of my life learning reading, writing, and arithmetic.'

It all seems rather trivial doesn't it?

Then, there are the folks that say 'It was about more than learning - it was the social experience. Making memories!' True, good friends can come from school, and so can memories. Again, though - the drama, the needless emotional attacks, the negativity of a cynical failing school system make 'talking to people' not nearly worth it.

But again, here we are. Graduation. Sad music. Tears. The whole shabang. Why do we worship this day so much? I mean, for goodness sake, we dress in ceremonial gowns, and listen to a speech or two, and then we achieve a status ("Graduate") and then we listen to an emotional song and then leave - to go on with the rest of our lives.

Sounds to me like what a lot of people complain about churches being like, does it not? Go in. Sit down. Hear a speech. Achieve a status ("Good Christian that Goes to Church"). Listen to an emotional song. Maybe shed a tear. If you're of certain denominations, babble in gibberish. Then go home. This post isn't even about that - let's go back on topic.

Graduation.

I think teens of today ride their emotions and put far too much weight on Graduating, and indeed, High School in general. Because of our painfully failing school systems that still seem to thing glorifying mediocre teachers and winning 'Fuhbawl' games is their purpose, carries much too much emotional weight and hold on the hearts of a lot of teens.

In reality, it's all rather meaningless.

"MATT!." you might be saying, "Why are you telling me not to go to school or get an education!?" I'm not saying that at all. "MATT!," others might think, "Are you telling me that my friends and emotions are meaningless?" No, I'm not. Putting so much weight on school and the social life developed in the failing school system is not worth the money the government pumps into the public school system every year.

I hate to burst the glib ceremonial bubble of graduation, but you are a number to the School System. Mine was #22499 before I left it to pursue my own education (one of the best choices of my life). They want money. They want trophies and plaques saying 'Our School is Best.' They want you to get high test scores so they can make more money, and build idols and temples (Hmm... Trophies and Football stadiums?) so that they can glorify themselves, while shunning individuality, personality, free-thinking and aspiring teenagers.

My children will be homeschooled - end of discussion.

I would never, ever, subject someone I loved (especially my own children) to the emotional tidal waves, cynical spirited, hateful, vile prison that is Public school. People who think I'm wrong about that are either part of the problem, or so used to it, they don't know what a loving learning environment actually is.

The Bible has all this to say.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom." Proverbs 9:10

Where does wisdom start? In a text book? In a classroom? Nope. It starts with knowing God.

"The first step of education is to have ones' eyes opened and be turned from darkness to light." Acts 26:18

Not only wisdom, but education, in it's purest form, must start, again, with God. You could now be saying that school is important to you! The cheerleading, the football, the classes, the clubs - it IS important! Plus, if I can 'get knowledge from God,' why do I have to give up my attachments to school? Can't I learn knowledge, AND be a part of a school?

"Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom."

HAH, see? Wait...

"...Though it cost all you have. Get understanding." Proverbs 4:7

Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, says this famous quote:

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?
Generations come and generations go...
No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them." Ecclesiastes 1:1-4, 11.

Doesn't seem too important, does it? The vein, trivial things in this life, do they really matter? Having straight A's, does it matter? Have as many friends as possible, being on the Varsity football team, being on A-squad Cheerleading - all that. Meaningless, as the Bible says?

Afraid so.

You might be feeling pretty angry or depressed by now - especially you College freshman or recent High School graduates (a majority of my friends, haha). What, then, can give you fulfillment? What makes life NOT meaningless? What makes life worth something?

Starts with a J, ends with an Esus.

There is no other way under the sun for you to have worth to your life unless you are pursuing God above all else. Above your girlfriend (or in the Christian community, that 'girl you wish to court someday *gag*). Above your grades. Above your own desires. Above your job. Above all else, pursue God. In the end, he's one of the few things worth pursuing, and He's the ONLY thing that shall NEVER forsake you. EVER.

Proof? Read your Bible. Click here. Read this passage. It may just put things into perspective, which most graduating teenagers desperately need.

Do not think I am not proud of my friends for graduating - way to go! I know it was a lot of hard work, but don't let it define you. You're so much more than that diploma.

Why the Royal Wedding Matters

At 4 o'clock this morning, I mozzied on into my living room, and turned on the television to watch the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton - the royal wedding of a couple from a country I've never even been to. Many people have been in an uproar over the royal wedding for months now; some more excited than others, of course. Ask a Englishman why it's exciting, and he'll probably tell you it's a proud moment for their nation, which it is. Ask the rest of the world, however, and you'll receive an almost universal response: "It's a fairy tale come true!"

At that point, many men and the more cynical women roll their eyes, snuggle back into bed and fall back asleep. I tell you the truth, though. What I saw was incredible. Not just because of the sheer scope of the wedding or the extravagant Westminster Abbey, or the beautiful Kate Middleton (grins), but because I believe what I saw there was one of the clearest, most beautiful representations of Christianity there is and can be.

Before the Service
Everyone who supports the Prince is lining up. They're going to his place - the chapel where he will marry his bride. They're so excited. Every passing day leading up to the wedding of the Prince and his bride makes them more and more excited. Then, when the day comes, they are ready and exuberant.

This is how a Christian life should be. As the church is the Bride of Christ, the Prince of Peace, so was Kate Middleton the Bride of the Prince of England. The people could hardly wait for it to begin, and that is how we should feel as a church - sitting at the edge of our seats - proud and smiling, waving flags and cheering - for the arrival of Christ to the Wedding of the Lamb and the Bride.

The Prince and his Bride
Then, after everything is perfect, the Prince takes his place. Everything is perfect down to the last detail for this day. Not a person, not a leaf, not a note of the organ or the clamor of the bells is out of place. Then, the princess is ready - adorned for her groom, and she is called up to meet him at the alter where they will wed.

In the end, the same will happen to the church. When God's timing makes it so, the end will come, and the wedding of the Lamb and His church shall begin. We will be called up to meet him, scripture tells us, and then the ceremony begins.

The Ceremony
There is the Prince and his Bride. Standing at the altar, waiting for it all to begin. Scripture is read. Songs are sung. And logistics take place. Documents are signed. Vows are taken. They are offered a chance to admit to any wrongdoings or mistrusts.

The Bible tells us that when we go meet our King, we will do the same thing. We will give an account of our actions. We will be in the presence of divine royalty and we will see the life we've lived until that point. Having accepted Jesus's proposal (much like a wedding proposal), we're invited and actually in the wedding - what a wonderful thought!

Then, when it's finished, it's declared. They are together - not EVER to be put asunder.

The Kiss
Oh, the kiss. What they all wait for. What people fill the courts of Buckingham Palace waiting to see. The final seal on the marriage. The Prince and his Bride walk out onto the balcony, all smiles, and the Prince leans in... and kisses his Bride. The people cheer and celebrate. They are together now - they are wedded.

When everything is made new again, and we are there because Christ would have US be with Him, Revelation 21 tells us that there will be no more crying, sorrow, pain or death. Joy. Joy will fill out hearts. And with the King at the throne and his Bride beside Him, we will experience this ultimate form of wedded bliss.

Let the Party Begin!
Then, the party begins.

Tonight there is said to be a feast of... well, royal proportions! A three course meal featuring all the royal family eating together, celebrating this union of the Prince and his Bride. The Bible tells us that, too, this will be one of the first things we experience in Heaven - the Wedding Feast of the Lamb.

Then, it's been said, and Prince Harry (William's brother and best friend) will be throwing a very 'knees-up' party that will feature rock 'n' roll and dancing and lights and will be the biggest and most fun dance party Buckingham has ever seen.

We have that ultimate celebration to look forward to as well! Once we are united with the Bridegroom, the party begins. A celebration that will out-do even the most massively conceived party. And we're not just invited to it - we're in it. We are the Bride.

---

Many people may feel that the Royal Wedding is some extravagant fairy tale that could never really happen except in this one instance with Kate Middleton, but the reality is that, if you've accepted Jesus Christ's marriage proposal, you're in for something much more glorious and spectacular than the Royal Wedding we saw this morning. The truth is that nothing can or will compare to it - the Bible, being the word of God, can not even do it justice.

So if you encounter some negative people that don't understand just how important the royal wedding is, remember that it's simply a reflection, like all weddings should be, on what's in store for us, when our King returns to whisk us away in our carriages and we can, like the storybooks say, "Live Happily Ever After."

The End!

Final Fantasy and Jesus

I know that I do a lot of the "____ and Jesus" blog posts, where I take some popular movie or book or video game and begin to find some spiritual significance in it or some way for it relate it to the Bible. I've done Harry Potter, Kingdom Hearts, Lord of the Rings, and even Mario Kart. The title of this one is 'Final Fantasy and Jesus.'

Now, I could go through the story and talk about the spiritual allegory and Christian significance (which there is quite a bit), but today, I'm going to be talking directly about the game itself. As in, the actual cartridge the game is on. Let me explain.

I have a game for the portable Nintendo game system, the Nintendo DS, called, like the title of this blog, is 'Final Fantasy III.' It's, you know, one of those fantasy games boys like with magic and swords and adventure, monsters, pirates, duels, and all that. Since it's on the Nintendo DS, and is portable, I can literally play it anywhere I want.

Well, this past Saturday night, I was packing for a four-day vacation to Savannah, Georgia. Savannah is an amazing place that has it all - an amazing historical city, a wonderful beach, lots of neat places, and all that. It's a five-hour drive from here to there, and luckily, I didn't have to drive. I was going with my mom and dad, and dad was driving, so I got to hang out in the back seat and just enjoy the scenery.

So, I wanted to bring my Nintendo DS and Final Fantasy III - one of the best games I own for the system. So, while I was packing, I began looking for it.

And looking for it.

And looking for it.

AND LOOKING FOR IT.

For hours, literally HOURS, I was looking for it. I ended up gutting both of my rooms, cleaning out both of my closets, and deep cleaning every corner of every place I've been in the past three month trying to find this video game. I spent all afternoon and well into the night looking for that game. At about 1:30 am, after having looking from about 2pm that afternoon (almost 12 hours), I had not found it. I was about to go crazy.

So, I decided to pray about it. Normally, I do not like to pray about petty things like that. Like, 'Lord, please let me get to my movie on time' or 'God, please don't let the internet die - I have things to do!' I never like to pray like that, because I don't find it very respectful to the God of Creation to treat him like a vending machine. But I was pretty desperate. I was on the last stretch of my sanity. All for... a video game. (That I didn't even pay for - it was a gift.)

So, I prayed. I said, 'God, please... I'm at my wits end. I just want to enjoy the car ride down to Savannah tomorrow. Please let me find this game.' So, after that, I began looking again, knowing God would come through for me.

He didn't.

At least, not in the way I expected.

It was about 2am when I gave up the search. I plopped down on my bed thinking of the wasted day of cleaning and searching and hunting for that blasted game. And I even prayed to God, who didn't even help me! I wasn't really angry, just kind of upset.

Then, I think I heard God tell me something. Not audibly, of course, nor did some magic cloud fill my room, nor did I begin speaking gibberish and needed people to interpret my 'prayer language.' Sometimes, we get thoughts that feel so powerful that we know we can't come up with on our own, and I believe these to be actual words from God. He spoke to me in that moment.

"If only you'd look for me like you did that video game."

My response, of course, was. "But I do look for you, Lord. I spend time with you everyday."

"In a ritualistic kind of way - not always because you enjoy it. Image if you lost your Bible. How long would you spend looking for that?"

Ouch. He was right (as He often... er... always is). I had spent so much time and energy looking for, pursuing, something that mattered way too much to me. I spent HALF of a 24-hour day looking for... a video game! It made me wonder... what other things do I spend far too much energy or time on pursuing? I wouldn't say that video games are taking away my time with God (though I know some people who do actually have that problem), but I was thinking...

What things in my life am I pursuing harder that God?

Friendships? Sometimes, when I have a scuff with a friend (happening a lot lately), or just wanted to connect on a fellowship-like level with people, that I put a lot of energy and time into pursuing those relationships.

School? I spent $1000 and 360 hours of my life in the past six months pursuing, chasing, a degree in an undeclared major. I put so much energy and time and effort into making sure that I got that all-powerful 'A' on my grades.

My hobbies/career? I spend a lot of time watching movies, playing games (like I mentioned), making movies, writing and reading... and I spend a lot of time learning and practicing and enjoying things like that. Time. Lots of time.

Are any of those things bad? No! NONE of those things are bad. Friends, school, a career, hobbies - all of those things are good and are great gifts from God... but the question remains.

What are we chasing, pursuing, looking for... more than God? Are we willing to spend half a day looking HARD for a DS game... when we're reluctant to spend 30 minutes reading our Bible? Are we willing to spend three or four of our paychecks on a new LED television... when we're reluctant to tithe a tiny 10% at church? Do we talk on our cell phones or Skype or AIM... more than we talk to God?

Ask God. Ask Him, "God - is there something in my life that is taking the place of you?" If that's not the case, ask Him, like I did, "God, what can I do to pursue you more... more completely? More often? More thoroughly?" It's a dangerous prayer to pray, and pretty uncomfortable when He... actually answers. Then, we don't have any excuses.

So, try it. Ask God. He wants you to be closer to Him, but even more so, He WANTS you to WANT to be closer to Him! His word says...

"The Lord is close to ALL who call on Him; yes - to ALL who call on Him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)

He will come closer to those who actually call on Him - who WANT him to come closer, and those who abide in Truth - God's word.

So, ask Him today. Ask Him how you can become closer to Him.

By the way, I never found that game. I ended up learning a valuable lesson and sleeping all the way down there anyway, hah.

Thanks for Reading!
-Matt

Punk Rock Christianity

If you spent your teenage years in a contemporary church like I did, you had two getaway-type events that happen once in a while. More traditional churches will have 'Bible Camp,' and more contemporary churches will have 'Youth Retreats.' We had the latter, and they were always the epitome of awesome. Loud rock music, fun night staying up late with the guys, fun days and, of course, that last night you get the heart-thumping message from the speaker and the band plays the emotional songs and your life just feels different. You wake up on the last day, and the world seems a bit brighter, and you're so pumped for God, it feels like you'll never be the same.

If you never got to experience a youth retreat or conference or weekend program like a StudentLife conference or Disciple-Now, I truly cannot express how awesome and important they are to teenagers. In fact, it was at my first Disciple-Now weekend I committed my life to Christ - right at four years ago now. In fact, our church is having a Disciple-Now weekend coming up, and if you go to my church and are reading this... and have not signed up, DO. Right now!

Anyway, most Christians have experienced those special times where you just feel so happy and energetic. The other day, I examined myself and realized something really rather surprising, and sad, too.

I had become such a... boring Christian.

Not that I was doing anything 'wrong,' per se, or that I wasn't loving God as much as I could, but... there was little joy in my life. If you read my blog a lot, you know I've been battling with a wave (heck, a hurricane) of depression. It's been really hard. This past week, some friends and I were discussing the Bible, and we came to the conclusion that Happiness does not equal Joy.

And... it seemed that I had become so boring. I had no joy. I was not into having fun, or enjoying... anything anymore.

With that on my mind, a friend of mine and I were chatting on Skype the other night, and we randomly listened to an old Hawk Nelson video that we remembered watching back in the early 2000's. Here it is.

The rest of the night was spent watching about two hours of the Christian punk rock videos that filled our teenage years - that reminded us of that joy we had. So happy singing the songs, totally SHREDDING on air guitar, and just being filled with happiness that could come from no one but God.

Why have we become so boring? We think once we leave the Youth Group at church at age 18, we're supposed to suddenly get all serious and never have fun again? Never allowed to feel that 'Christian Punk Rock' joy you see bands like Hawk Nelson or Steller Kart or Relient K have?

With that one my mind, I prayed to God something like 'Lord, let me believe in fun again. Let me feel your presence in the fun things in life. Show me it's okay to let loose sometimes.'

"Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life." Ecclesiastes 5:18

I found that verse today, and it just hit me... that God loves fun. He created fun. He loves it when we have fun. He wants us to have fun. Part of an abundant life (like the one Jesus promised us in John 10:10) is to enjoy it.

I've made it a point from now on to live more of a what I like to call a 'Punk Rock Christianity' attitude. Enjoy it. Have fun. Everyday, don't just thank God for the day, enjoy the day he's given you! Learn to love life, even on the days that it seems ultimately sucky. Even on the days it feels like your friends have abandoned you. Even if all seems down, you have Joy that not even the armies of Hell can take from you. That should get you fired up!

So get up! Play some air guitar! Jump around! Shout! Sing! Dance! Grab a group of friends and grow throw a frisbee. Put on some flip-flops and lay in some grass, soak up the sunshine! Blast some music! Do a cartwheel! A hand stand! Do a cannonball into a swimming pool! God loves to see you just enjoying the day and the life He's given you. It's like a dad watching his kids having fun - He loves it.

So think about 'Punk Rock Christianity' when you go about your day. Enjoy your day. Have FUN! Have a great day - I really mean that, have a great day!!

Reinventing Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentine's Day. A holiday of crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, dates, flowers, chocolates, cheesy romantic comedies, and general goosh-ery of every variety. We see the store displays with the chubby Cupid with his bow and arrows with the heart tips. We see those nasty little heart-shaped candies with little phrases like 'BE MINE' or "I LUV U' on them. We embrace telling out sweethearts 'I love you, babe' or 'You are beautiful!' or if, you're a fundimentalist Christian, 'I enjoy your presence and would like to pursue you with a friendship outing.' Gag. Not to mention the singles that decide to pout and sit around wishing they had a boyfriend or a girlfriend or were married, etc.

What, really, is the point of all this? One day of the year to focus on... romance? Love? What is Valentine's Day really about? I'm about to give you the Linus answer; you know, where Linus on 'Charlie Brown' stands up on stage and tells the Christmas story? Well, imagine I'm Linus, and it's Valentine's Day.

The Legend of St. Valentine is just that - a legend. There's little historical record about him, and in fact, there were several St Valentines recognized by the early church. I think, though, the idea of his story is what we should look at; the man, yes, but more so his message. If St. Valentine exists only as a parable, so be it - the story is still one of the deepest love. Love you won't find in a Hallmark card or on a balloon or in a sappy romance song.

In a time when Christians were being persecuted for their love for Jesus Christ and the life they led because of that, St. Valentine was a brave man. When they could dip you in burning oil, feed you to lions, or just corner and slay you in the street because of your devotion to Christ, St. Valentine saw that as a problem. Legend has it that Valentine helped many Christians escape the harsh torture and even murdering of his Christian brothers and sister, which perfectly exemplifies John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

For this, the Roman government had Valentine killed. He died for the sake of the Gospel - showing such TRUE love, and not the sappy romantic crap that ends up on cakes, cards, and Facebook that has been associated with his name these days. What a shame, eh?

Love is a theme that is probably the most profound theme in the Bible. Besides salvation itself, which is basically God proving his love for us, love is an obvious main bullet point in scripture and Jesus' teachings. Love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Love is patient, kind, doesn't envy or boast, is forgiving rejoices in truth, it protects, trusts, hopes, preserves (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It is the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:36-40). It is God Himself! (1 John 4:18). Doesn't that sound like something you'd devote a holiday to?

What if this year, we forgot all the generally mooshy and sappy traditions and connotations associated with this holiday, and look at it from a Christian perspective? What if we focused on TRUE love, and not the love of some star-crossed teenagers, a dozen roses, or posting the lyrics of out favorite love songs on the internet? What if we treated Valentine's Day like Christmas or Easter? We complain that those holidays are losing their 'true meaning,' but we still celebrate Jesus at least a little bit on those days; why not Valentine's Day?

Think about it: a day devoted to love! Christian love! A type of love that when you see it in others, you don't get depressed; you are filled with joy! A love that when shared can literally change the world! A love that saved you, and a love that is perfectly exemplified in our God.

The Beatles sang 'All you need is Love.' Switchfoot calls the love of God 'A symphony, a melody, a song...' They also say 'Love is the Movement; Love is the revolution.' Jars of Clay says 'Love is the protest!' Muse says 'Love is the Resistance!' Steve Fee says the love of God 'is better than life.' Now, doesn't that sound a lot better than 'BE MINE' or crappy dollar store candy?

I dare you to look at Valentine's Day differently today! Look at it still as a day of love, but as a day of TRUE love. The Christian Love. The kind of Love God has for us. I promise, your holiday, as well as your life, will be much better when we take that into practice.

So Happy Valentines Day! Love this day!!

----

Also, thought this would be cool. I made a playlist called 'Love Is...' and it has a bunch of great songs, all having some variation of the phrase 'Love is.' Enjoy!

Better Without You and Better than You

First off, maybe this is just a 'Matt' thing. I actually don't know if a lot of other people think about this, and if you don't, I'm sorry in advance. Allow to talk about myself for a few paragraphs.

One feeling that seems to rear its ugly head every so often with me is a feeling of insuperiority. Actually, that sounds wrong. That makes it sound like I'm whining when someone is better than me. That's not it at all, really. It's more of a feeling of 'You try so hard... and yet, you can't accomplish what you try... and here's someone else who can.'

I've talked about about lies of the Enemy to degrade ourselves to make us think the worst about ourselves, but this one is tricky. I'm not saying this one is not common, but it's easy to misunderstand by ourselves (and others) as selfishness. Here's a good example.

There's an amazing scene in the newest Harry Potter film, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One' where Ron Weasly and Harry Potter are standing, together, preparing to destroy the Horcrux. If you don't follow the series, you're probably like 'What.' but that's that's okay. The Horcrux is basically the soul of their greatest Enemy, which they are basically battling for seven movies now. Sound familiar?

There they stand with the sword promised to be able to combat the Horcrux, and to destroy it, they must expose it (The allegory is unmistakable). They open the locket, and a flood of darkness and shadow encircle Ron and Harry.

(Note: this is an illegal video someone recorded in the theater, and the title of the video... might detour you from watching it, but it's the scene I'm talking about. Listen to the dialog.')

Wow, huh? How often have we heard the same lie? 'You are nothing... compared to him?'

Voldemort (the Enemy, in our case) uses the same tricks to get us to believe the worst. Poor Ron is attacked over and over again in this scene: "Least loved by your mother who craved a daughter..." "Least loved by the girl who prefers your friend..." Ouch. Voldemort, are you sure you're not talking to me, Matt Walker? It goes on.

A vision appears before Ron. His best friend... saying something that kills him inside. "We were better without you. Happier without you..." Then, Hermione speaks. "Who could even LIKE you..." "What are you... compared to [Harry?]" "What woman would take you... you are nothing..." Yikes.

Seem familiar? Have we not all had the same attacks laid against us before? Have we not all been through exactly what Ron is dealing with in that scene right there? The Enemy telling us things that we know aren't true... but that seem more true than anything else?

"Your friends are happier without you." "Your not at all what your parents wanted." "What woman/man could ever love you?" "So-n-no is superior; why do you even try?" "You are unlovable." "You are nothing."

I know, personally, I deal with at least half of those on a daily basis. The Enemy has a way of digging into the quietest openings in our heart, and despite the Proverbs urging us to 'guard them above all else,' (Proverbs 4:23), he finds a way in. He exploits our weaknesses. He plants thoughts and ideas that turn on us, and eat us alive. Our most clever Enemy knows our heart better than we do it seems... and he knows how to destroy it.

What do we do? How do we stop it? All these lies feel so true. You know they do to Ron Weasly. You know they hurt him deeper than anything. What on earth does he do now? What on earth do We do now?

We have to destroy it.

Like Harry in that scene, we have our friends and people that love us shouting 'It's lying!' or 'Kill it!' but what about when they don't? What about when they let it happen? What if they don't even seem to realize it's happening? What if it seems they don't care?

"Though an army might encamp against me, my heart shall not fear. Though war may rise against me, in [God] I will be confident." (Psalm 27:3)

God is willing to fight with and for you. When the Enemy comes and begins his attack, God is on your side. He wants you to know the truth. He wants you to know your worth. He wants you to know the plans he has for you are for good, a hope and a future; not disaster. (Jeremiah 29:11). He wants you to know that YOU are here because YOU are the best person God could think of, in all of eternity, to do what the work he has planned. Isn't that something? Not only that, but to God, you and the plans he had for you were important enough to die for, before you even knew Him.

Nothing is better without you. Nothing is better than you. God doesn't think so; don't think so yourself. You would not exist had God not said 'They are worth it.'

You are worth it!

How, then, do we fight the Enemy? We attack back. With our own swords (Hebrews 4:12), like Ron did. We attack back.

And we will always be victorious.

Talking to God

It seems to me, the more I grow as a Christian, as a man, as a friend, as just a person in general, the answers we struggle the hardest to get and the solutions we fight for most are the most obvious. When we get them, we suffer a moment of 'Naw-duh, Sherlock,' and that can make us/me feel stupid and embarrassed, but I think it's something we all have in common.

This blog post has the potential to get very personal with a lot of people, but for the sake of anonymity, I suppose it would be polite for me to be as vague as possible while still having some sort of meaning without sounding like I'm a whiny teenager. Ooh, boy. Specifics aren't important anyway, hah.

I'll begin with a question: Have you ever been in a situation where you had no where to turn to for help? I know what you're thinking. 'I ALWAYS HAVE JESUS, HALLELUJAH - AMEN!'

While that's true, be honest - how often do you turn to God for help? That's what I thought. An embarrassingly small amount of the time, isn't it? I can say the same. Whenever something's got me down, or worse... I can honestly say that sometimes God is the last place I will turn for help.

It seems odd to say that, though. Usually, outside of Christianity, we see people only going to God when we need help, but I bet for a lot of us, as Christians, it's easy to maintain a regular prayer life filled with ins-and-outs, daily 'quiet-times' (sweet child of mine, I hate that term), and what have you, but I find myself never really going to God with my problems or... I guess my heart.

I wrote a little bit about this a few weeks back - about opening up to God. I think that is a major part of it. I haven't been nor have I really ever opened up to God, and I find that when I do, He is able to show me things I'd never expected or things I'd never thought of otherwise.

In the past few months, I've been struggling pretty badly with... life, hah. Things got pretty low at one point - they still continue to drop down there now and again. It got to the point where I was physically hurting myself because, you know, apparently that's supposed to help. It didn't. My doctor put my on antidepressants which have helped a tremendous amount, but still... it doesn't fix anything.

So, I figure I could turn to people. My pastors. My family. My closest friends. I've opened up very little to anyone, and when I do, I find myself stuttering, censoring myself, and never really even releasing a coherent thought. Even talking to the people I love most (they can tell you this and are probably reading this now, hah), I'm very secretive, cryptic, and quiet about what goes on in my own heart.

And pretty soon, I found myself in a situation where there was nobody I could talk to. At all. Don't get me wrong - without a doubt in my mind, God places people in our lives to hold us up, pray for us, talk to us, and help us... but what about when we find ourselves going there first? Instead of having people there as pillars of support, I found myself treating them as a foundation of it.

So, in this situation, I found myself getting deeper and deeper into confusion, pain, sadness, and numbness. What was I supposed to do? Recently, it got to the point where I was, literally, angry at God. You know, like the cheesy Christian movies where the protagonist is like 'God, why did you allow this to happen! It's your fault! BLAH!' But I was basically like that.

'God... why are you even allowing this to happen to me? Why... in all of your ability as God and Ruler of the freakin' Universe, would you allow these little things to line up so perfectly that not only are my feelings hurt and my heart in shambles, but I have no one to talk to about it? Why on earth would you allow me to be so alone here?''

That's when I had my 'Naw-duh' moment.

And it's pretty much a recurring theme in the Bible, especially the Psalms.

"Seek the Lord and His strength; seek his face continuously." (Psalm 105:4)

"Those who know your name trust in You; for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." (Psalm 9:10)

"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." (Psalm 55:22)

"In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles" (Psalm 34:6)

I think that's what He was trying to tell me. I think God allowed me to fall so deep into this literal depression so that I could see, sooner or later, that the only - the only - way out would be to rely on Him.

The Enemy, of course, was hell-bent (pun intended) on making sure that I felt everything that ever happened to me was the result of my surroundings and not the way I was choosing to deal with them. Think about it - if I break my arm accidentally doing something, who do I go to for help? The people I love? They can comfort me and give me advice, sure, but does that heal me? Do I just go through it alone? No, because my arm would remain broken, wouldn't it? I need the doctor, don't I?

It's a simple, Elementary school analogy, yeah, but it's what I've been doing. Does going to God first with my heart, my troubles, my concerns, my everything fix the situations I'm in? No, not necessarily. There's still going to be pain because the attacks of our most relentless Enemy do not stop because we notice him performing them.

I think the most important thing for us... and me, really... to remember is that God is Father, and I am his son. He wants me to come to Him, because he loves me, and is willing to help me. He's willing to just listen if that's all I need. How many times has that happened to you - you're talking something out to someone, and they say nothing at all but continue to let you talk because they know you'll eventually come to the conclusion yourself? I think God does that a lot with us.

The bottom line I want to say is the God listens, and God helps. Sometimes, He allows absolute crap to pour into our lives from every direction so we see that there is no one else that can really help us but Him.

Questions for you now: How much do you trust God? I mean 'trust' in the sense can you really tell him everything, like a best friend... like a Father the Bible says He is? Can you be open to God? He did everything in His Power (and the God of Eternity has a lot of power) to be with you; can't you spare more than a campy ritualistic 'quiet time' with Him? It's something to think about.

As I pray today, I ask that you join me in really just going to God and opening your heart. Forget 'praying,' sit down and talk with God like you have a relationship with Him. That's what Christianity is, and we often tell people that, but act like we don't believe it. 'It's not a religion; it's a relationship!' we'll glibly spew along with every other Christian cliche, but we still pray like God is a stained-glass window image in the cathedral of our mind. I think he deserves and wants more than that. I think I want more that that.

So, try it today. Talk to God. Tell Him about your day. About what makes you happy. About what makes you sad. About how much you love your friends. About how much you liked that movie you saw. About that nasty food you ate at the mall the other day. Be reverent, but fod God's sake, be personal. God is a person. A person who loves you.

Pray for me, too, reader, as I learn this with you.

-Matt